Adventures on Camelia Lane

Quotes from today

2012-02-16T22:21:00.000-05:00

Mommy, I had so much fun with Eli coming over to play today!

Me: Really? Because that's not really how you were acting the whole time.

Holder: Well, that was just because sometimes he didn't want to do the things I wanted to do.

"Mommy? I sure do love you."

"Mommy, thanks so much for getting me a cheeseburger and French fries from Old McDonald's for dinner." (Yes! My laziness on the final night of a four week travel marathon of Dave's actually translated into me being the cool Mom!)

"Mommy. I really had a great day with you today."

Me too, sweet pea. Me too

Weekend Adventures

2012-02-12T20:42:00.001-05:00

I'm about to type this post, then go to my phone and dump some pics from this weekend in here, not knowing where in the post they'll come about or if I'll be able to caption them, so stay with me.

After a week in which Dave was in Kansas and Missouri, Miller was vomiting every night until Wednesday, and my mom was crying most days because my dad is sick with cancer-like symptoms the week before his scan, I was just about at my wits end. It was a tough one for sure. I let my kids watch far more TV than usual because I was utterly exhausted and we couldn't really leave the house with Miller being sick. I did so many loads of laundry I lost count. I spent more time on the phone and internet than I have in a month. And there were definitely temper tantrums and tears galore.

So tired of eating bananas and plain rice.

His sickest night, on a towel on the couch watching "Melmo" (Elmo)

This weekend brought some better days.

Dave worked from home on Friday and we were able to take the boys to a park, feed Miller his first entire day of normal food after a week on the BRAT diet, and just decompress from the stressful week. It was so nice. I cooked dinner and we hung out around the house.

Saturday Dave had Upward in the morning. While he was gone my dad called and seemed to be feeling much better, which was a huge relief. He still has some symptoms though and is going for a scan tomorrow. The results will come Wednesday and he has an appointment with his oncologist. We're praying like crazy that he is still cancer-free.

Anyway, after Upward we picked my parents up and tried a new BBQ restaurant for lunch. After dropping them at home, we came back to get the kids naps. I ran a few errands for some Valentine's Day supplies while Dave stayed home with the kids and covered plants for the cold snap that was set to come through. After I got back Dave picked up dinner for us from a new pizza place one of his friends told him about and Holder watched the Jonah movie. Miller watched a bit too, after throwing a fit because I tried to take him in his room to read books instead. Both the boys fought going to bed, so in between folding laundry, planning a SS lesson for 2-yr olds, and making heart-shaped crayons for Holder and Miller's friends for Valentine's Day we had to keep going in their rooms quieting them down. Whew.

Today it was SO cold when we woke up for church. It seems like forever since we were there as a family (two weeks almost, which for us is a LONG time) and it was nice to get back to normal. Dave and I were both in the nursery today and has more 2-year-olds than I have had since I can remember. It was a handful to say the least. After church everyone was in a good mood so we hit up a Mexican restaurant for lunch. Usually we go to our favorite BBQ place after church but since we just ate BBQ yesterday we switched it up. Turns out a bunch of people from our Sunday School class were there so we sat with them. Let's just say that seven kids and about seven college age/single adults and four couples made for a long, loud, crazy lunch table. I think the BBQ restaurant is a much better bet for our little family at this stage of life.

Miller and Micah in the nursery Sunday morning.

We ran Holder over to spend the night with my parents and then ran Dave and Miller back to the house so Miller could get a nap. Then I ran BACK to my parents' house to cook up six batches of pancakes and french toast for breakfasts for the next few weeks (I make huge batches on my parents' large built-in griddle and freeze them for quick but healthy homemade breakfasts). By the time I was finished I had 15 minutes to drive home, change clothes and load up again for the Valentine's banquet at church tonight. We had a good time and some of our friends were even chosen to be in the "newlywed game" for entertainment. Miller went straight to bed when we got home. Holder may still be awake at Nina and Grandpa's watching one of five new movies my mom bought for him, who knows.

I found Miller sleeping with his Lolly on top of his head when I went in to check on him the other night.

I'm feeling blessed we got to spend so much time together as a family this weekend but nervous about my dad's tests and results coming this week. We would appreciate any prayers you have for him. One more year and we could put this cancer business to bed for good. God has brought my dad's health so far in the past year and we're enjoying having him back to normal so much. I just pray that he continues to stay healthy. For now, I'm going to fix a cup of hot chocolate, put on PJs and relax. I feel like I might need to rest up before this week.

Holder's 3rd birthday party slideshow

2012-02-07T21:05:00.000-05:00

I'm planning to do a series of posts on Holder's birthday party prep, but Miller has had a tummy bug, Dave has been out of town, my dad has been sick and life has been intense this week. BUT to give you a preview and keep things light, here's a sweet slideshow of the party that Nicki did for me. She was such a good friend to take pictures for me, download them, and do this slideshow. Seriously, even if I did manage to take this many pics (which I wouldn't have), it would have taken me two months or more to download them and another three months to make a slideshow. And I don't even know how to set a slideshow to music...but I digress. The music has nothing to do with the party; it's all Big Apple Adventure songs from our church's VBS last summer. Holder LOVES them! Enjoy!

Three years

2012-02-05T23:30:00.087-05:00

February 5, 2009 at 11:30pm I became a different person. I became Mommy.

Holder Benjamin was born three years ago and immediately became the focus of my life. I wanted to be a mom for so long, and now that I was, I felt so many things: elated, unsure, adult, happy, complete, a little afraid. And most of all, in love.

Holder was born on a Thursday night. We left the hospital on Sunday. I didn't sleep but for a few hours that entire weekend. I couldn't take my eyes off him. I'll never forget holding him, so small and alert, to my chest as we watched the sun rise over downtown that Sunday morning. We said his first prayer together and I saw God in an entirely new way. He became so real to me through Holder. It's not something I can explain, but I'll never forget that morning watching the sunrise with my brand new baby in my arms.

Me crying while feeding Holder the morning after he was born. The first time my love for him made me cry. Certainly not the last.

Three years have flown by in what seems like the blink of an eye. A sibling has been born, family members have been ill and recovered, fun times have been had, life has rolled on. And that small baby has grown into a walking, talking little boy before my very eyes.

There are not words to express what Holder means to me. He is so beautiful, so smart, so wonderfully made. He is the greatest blessing I have ever known.

He loves to sing. He loves "shows" and "movies" and will gladly explain the difference to you ("shows are not long; movies are long"). His favorite movie is Veggie Tales Jonah. He does not like arts and crafts (contrary to the picture below). He loves chicken nuggets and cheeseburgers and french fries and strawberries. He will only drink water. He loves his Nuker and Lolly and says they only come as a pair. He still sleeps in his crib and wears diapers. He thinks going to Petco is a reward for good behavior. He is greatly influenced by older boys, and I pray that he is surrounded by godly friends his entire life. He loves dinosaurs, trains, his Nina, and reading books. He talks nonstop. He knows at least 100 dinosaurs by name and by sight. He has a memory that amazes everyone who knows him. He is very boy-ish, and can play very rough. He always wants Mommy to put him to bed and likes me to sing him lots of songs, especially Christmas carols. I can see his love for God developing and it makes me so very grateful to anticipate him one day accepting Christ as his Savior. Holder loves being outside, loves going "somewhere fun," and tells me he's "a little bit nervous" whenever we go over to someone's house. He calls his brother Milly and lots of his friends by nicknames too. It makes me smile because I have always nicknamed people too. I know it's what I am supposed to think because I am his mom, but I am just so sure God has made Holder special. I can't believe you're three, sweet pea. I love you so, so much.

Holder B. on his third birthday, smiling for Mommy

There are things you need to hear, and things you should never say...

2012-01-30T16:36:00.000-05:00

During a discussion of mine and Dave's plan to have a third child (eventually, not like, this month), a friend said these words to me.

"But what if the third one is like Miller?"

Seriously!

The first thought that popped into my head was, "What the %$#* is that supposed to mean?" Very Christian, I know.

But I had the sense to pause a minute, really consider the question, and instead said, "I think that would be fine. Bring it on."

I don't know what sweet, maybe a tad wild Miller ever did to her to make her ask a question like that. He did climb up her outdoor play set slide with the tenacity of a 3-year-old and did fall off a tricycle he was far too little to ride while I wasn't looking, but it's not like he chewed on plugs and climbed her curtains. Make no mistake: Miller can be a little wild. He can be "into things." He is determined, persistent, and doesn't always listen to "No!" the first or second or third time he's told. He is the reason I still have a playpen up in my house. He bumps his head a lot and bangs on cookie sheets while I cook dinner and dumps out the dog's water bowl. But I have never for a minute doubted that his "won't give up" attitude will serve him well in life. Miller is no quitter. He believes he is capable of anything. He takes risks and doesn't tend to let failure stop him. He'll try again and again and again. It's infuriating to me at times as a mother, but it is so admirable to me as a person who fears failure so intensely that I often just decide not to try. I love knowing that he likely won't live with the fear and anxiety that can plague someone much more like me, or like Holder- perfectionists who would rather never experience the miraculous than give up the safe.

Let me be clear: Miller is not uncontrollable. He sits in carts while I shop (although it's wise to strap him in). He will go around Disney in the stroller. He will read 10 or more books in a row with me, and often looks at books on his own with no prompting. He is a very good boy. He likes to climb. He likes to run. He likes to touch. He's a boy. If you or your friend has a child like Miller- who doesn't always obey, who gets into your cabinets, throws food from the highchair and pitches a full-on temper tantrum when told no, don't ask your friend if they have considered not having more kids because what if their next one is like their "wild" one. Show them an article like this instead. And give them a hug.

"We are the two best friends that anyone could have..."

2012-01-25T21:31:00.001-05:00

These little boys are so special to me. They've been friends since before they knew they were friends. And now, they KNOW they're friends. Miller says Micah's name, runs to the door if I say we're going to see him, and "calls" him on his play phone and babbles sentences. They hug and kiss and play and laugh together. It warms my heart. And, as Florida boys, they think going to Disney with the BFF and the moms is just what you do on a random Tuesday.

Laundry/scrapbook/office reorganization

2012-01-23T12:12:00.001-05:00

As you may remember, earlier this month I reorganized the laundry/scrapbook/office room. Until a few years ago, this room was an unfinished utility room. In 2010 we had a contractor add air and new tile, drywall, paint lighting etc., as well as a wall of cabinets and counter top that we use as an office and craft area. We keep the computer in here because it means I spend less time on it, as well as all my crafting materials and some work books and art supplies for the kids. I absolutely love this room, and I especially love it when it's clean and organized like it is now. In chaotic times and near birthdays this room is a hot mess and a dumping ground for all random materials. It was massively messy after Christmas because I had done a bunch of Christmas crafts, never cleaned up stuff from Miller's birthday, and just dumped and dumped until it was no longer a functional space. A before shot can be seen on this post.

Enter some determination, a morning when Dave took the kids to the park and Chick-Fil-A, and my P-Touch labeler and all that changed.

Seriously, this is heavenly to me.

These are buckets from the kitchen area of IKEA that now hold my pens, scrapbooking markers, and various scissors, Exacto knives, etc.

Wire baskets, also from the kitchen section of IKEA hold my ribbons.

I found this little printable and put it in a $1.99 frame from IKEA on a picture ledge. It has Colossians 3:23 on it. So perfect for when you're overwhelmed with laundry and other seemingly thankless tasks.

And another printable with a sweet picture of a 6-month-old Holder B. I am looking for the perfect fabric to have a valance made to go on the window over the washer and dryer and then this room makeover will be complete. All in all these changes cost less than $50. For someone who struggles to do anything cheaply, I am very proud of how little I spent to make this room such an organized and cozy space. I love it!

Lots 'o links

2012-01-22T20:12:00.001-05:00

Are y'all on Pinterest? I am logged in using Dave's FB account (bc I didn't know I could make a Twitter account just for Pinterest and use that and now I'm too lazy to switch over), but under my name so look me up if you want to follow me. Otherwise, just use these links.

I have made this recipe several times over the past few weeks. We love, love it. I even made it for a friend who just had a baby and she texted me the next day asking for the recipe AND her hubby mentioned how much he loved it at church today. Definitely a keeper, and super easy too. You should give it a try.

I'm going to start a challenge of 31 Days of Praying for Your Husband (also found on Pinterest). I pray for Dave, but I would say it's somewhat general unless there's a specific need (a big meeting, travel, a tough situation or specific decision). I'm interested to see how God will use this time of intentional praying for the man He chose for me to spend my life with.

In the coming days I am going to be doing this little craft to hang in the playroom. I think it will be so cute and fun in there. It's supposed to be super easy too.

And likely this too. Although it's not a craft.

And of course, a whole bunch of dinosaur crafts for Holder's 3rd birthday.

If you're on Pinterest, follow me so I can look at your boards and follow you back!

Heard this morning

2012-01-19T14:10:00.000-05:00

"Mommy, let's do school!"

"Really? You want to do school?"

"Oh yeah. I like it. Let's do it. Well, maybe not school; just stickers."

So far, so good! Holder loves his trays and loves the element of surprise that a tray gets traded out for a new activity once he's completed it. We have left the animal sticker book up there though because he's learning so much and loves it. I'll probably trade it out after the weekend. This little system is working so well for us right now, and along with the church nursery, really easing Holder into more formal schooling. That's going to come eventually, whether it be in a traditional school, a Montessori program, or (dare I even utter the word my friend Jenny predicted years and years ago?) homeschool.

If you're at all interested in using a system like the one I've been mentioning lately, please check out the 1+1+1=3 blog on my blog roll. She homeschools three children and has tons of information and ideas for ages ranging from toddler to grade school. You can also see elements of a lot of the ideas and spaces in our house/playroom from various Montessori blogs and websites. There's so much information out there, and of course the best advice is that you know your child and know what they need and are capable of. I have no background in early education at all. I made fun of my sorority sisters who majored in elementary ed and thought it was a puff major you declared when you really wanted an Mrs. degree (no judgement; I wanted one of those too). I don't "know" what I am doing and I am certainly no expert on anything to do with children. I didn't even know how to speak to a toddler when I began volunteering in the church nursery in 2005. But so much of parenting is being connected to your child and just knowing them. That really puts you in the best spot to make decisions for them, whether it be about "school" and learning, or anything else. We're learning as we go along just like everyone else, and just sharing what's working for us right now. I can't believe my big boy is turning 3 in just a few short weeks!

Tidbits

2012-01-18T22:27:00.000-05:00

We have had some up and down weather lately. One day it will be cold (to us- 40s/50s/60s) and the next day high 70s. On one of those beautiful days the boys and I headed to a local park and had a picnic lunch, played on the playground and watched two trains go by! The kids had a blast and that day marked the return of the nap for little Holder B. He's napped every day since save for one. And I am back to getting a little break during the day, provided the boys' naps overlap a bit. Heaven!

On the cold days we still get to play on the porch, if we bundle up.

Each year my parents' church encourages all its members to read through the entire Bible. The goal is to just read it; don't study it and don't try to "figure it out." The church gives out 30, 60, 90, and 120 day plans and encourages the 60 day plan. I couldn't quite swing that, but I did take the 90 day challenge. So far I am doing pretty well. I am about a day behind but I figure if it takes me 100 days it will be okay. This will be the year that I read the entire Bible!

I have been driving my minivan for almost a month now and am nearing 1,000 miles. We've done a few trips to IKEA, many trips to Orlando, and even broke in the DVD player on the way home from Animal Kingdom this week (the DVD player is only used for long trips like that). I have to say, it was a little overwhelming at first because there is a lot to learn. But today I found myself thinking, "I will probably drive a minivan for the rest of my life." That's probably not true, but I can totally see myself buying another minivan after this one (and that will be at least 10 years from now, God willing). It's the best car I have ever driven and I love pretty much everything about it. There's so much storage, so much space, such a big trunk, so many neat features. And honestly, the power doors are pretty much the best thing ever. I am fully on the minivan wagon (that sounds weird), and I'm not jumping off for a loooong time.

Last weekend I made a recipe off Pinterest for breakfast. It was so simple- put cinnamon rolls into your waffle iron for 2-3 minutes! I topped these with icing per the instructions. Dave liked them a lot but the boys thought they were a tad sweet. Next time I will skip the icing on theirs and just use maple syrup. But this is a really easy way to make a fun treat for your family for breakfast.

Sweet little Miller has really gotten into books lately. He will run up to them shouting "Bouk! Bouk!" and practically throw the one he wants to read at you. He's learning so much and I am thrilled he loves to read. We're all readers so I really wanted our kids to love books like the rest of the family does.

New Year, New Playroom

2012-01-17T23:15:00.000-05:00

Well, not totally new, but the New Year did bring some pretty big reorganization of the playroom and porch.

First I'll say that it's important to Dave and me that the playroom be somewhere where adults can actually be comfortably. Although there's no TV out there, it's not like we live in a house that's large enough that our kids totally have an entire room that can be scaled to kid-sized everything. Plus, it's nice to have somewhere for the moms to sit during playdates. :)

Here's a shot that shows how we decorate to pretend that our lives and furniture choices don't completely revolve around people who can't use the potty.

Above is the alphabet wall that was inspired by Pinterest, along with the House Rules sign. Also is Miller's playpen (that yes, we still use daily as he gets into everything!), and a bin of small toys that I don't want to get rid of because I got it super cheap at a yard sale and also the bins have multiple uses (Montessori sensory bins, stages and blocks for the boys etc.). The solar system was another Christmas present and Holder and Miller both love to point and talk about the planets. Holder likes the big ones, particularly Jupiter.

Below you'll see the picture wire from IKEA that I use to hang their art work/ take homes from the church nursery before filing away in their memory boxes.

On this small wall is the picture ledge from IKEA that I use to display printables that coordinate with the holiday or season, or as in this picture, general scriptures/fun little things. To the right hanging you'll see the frames that my mom bought me for Christmas 2010 to display the boys' artwork. Their nice stuff or favorite items go in here to be displayed. The cubes are from Target. In the boxes are Legos, organized in gallon Ziplocs and "Games" like the little lion scavenger hunt game that is one of the kids' favorite Christmas presents. And of course books. Lots and lots of books.

A new addition to our routine in the new year has been these trays, which for right now live on top of the cubes. (That will likely change when I want to put up a holiday display or when Miller can reach the trays and pull them off, whatever happens first).

These trays are where Holder's "school" projects for the next day are laid out. It's time for Holder to move to the next level on a lot of his knowledge. I am very hippy dippy in that I go with a "learning by living" philosophy for young kids, but I also tend to go with what's familiar and sometimes forget to try new things. Example: the time in church when Erin asked if Holder and her little girl wanted to do Play Doh and I replied, "Holder's never done Play Doh. I don't think he'll be able to." And then he played with it for 45 minutes and did so well. So this Christmas I bought several workbooks and other supplies and decided to do a few activities a week with Holder to develop some of his existing skills and introduce new ones. We don't follow a strict schedule and probably won't even do these things every day (although that's the general idea), but I think it's good prep for him.

Today he and I did a few pages of a coloring activity book, including work on patterns, and also an animal sticker book that was organized by continent of habitat. You'll see his choices for tomorrow are a very beginning bit of cutting, a Bible lesson with markers (there's also a Thomas sticker sheet under that as a reward for doing a Bible lesson), or the animal sticker book from today and another animal activity book underneath the first. For right now this is what we're going to stick with as far as "school" goes and see how it works for us. Dave has mentioned that we might need to think about sending Holder to a morning program next fall, but we're not going to discuss it in detail for a few months.

This bookcase is from Target (don't worry, all these cubes and bookcases are bolted to the walls), and is filled with art supplies, toys, flashcards, puzzles and dinosaurs. All neatly labeled with my P-Touch and coordinating clip art.

On to the porch. Sorry these pictures were taken at night, but I can't seem to get around to taking these during the day, or the porch is such a wreck I wouldn't want to show them to you anyway. :)

This is the farthest corner from the playroom door. We have two lights out here but one broke shortly after Dave put it up and he hasn't gotten around to replacing it just yet. It's nice and bright out here when both lights are on and working.

In this corner is the easel Miller got for Christmas, an organizer of art supplies hanging on the wall, a long table for snack or art (the kids and their friends love to eat lunch out here!), and some random toys. Also the large construction blocks from Christmas. Lots of clubhouses are built with these.

The view of the porch from the playroom door. A basketball hoop from Christmas 2010 in the other corner, a better view of the "daycare tables" (I got them from a yard sale of an out of business daycare- not as ghetto as it sounds, I promise), a fun rug from IKEA, and the beloved kangaroo climber. We got this for Holder for his first birthday and its paid for itself many times over in hours of amusement.

This is the wall to the right of the above picture. The play kitchen is there, and so is the fun world map from this Christmas. The organizer above it is filled with felt people, animals, etc that go on the map. Holder loves pointing out the continents and talking about them.

To the left is the seating for the porch, which we have had for years. You can also see the USA map rug that Nina bought for the kids. Holder loves this too.

To the right of the play kitchen is a Trofast bookcase unit from IKEA. You'll see some of the bins are full and labeled and some are empty. I know they'll be filled one day! On top are some summer toys. You can also see into the playroom in this picture.

We're very happy with the way the playroom and porch reorganization has turned out! It's very functional and fun. And although sometimes I feel like it looks slightly like an in-home daycare, the boys love everything and have a ball, and all the toys and activities stay very organized. So that's good in my book!

Where the Wild Things Are

2012-01-15T20:48:00.002-05:00

We had a pretty good day today. It ended with Nicki and her boys coming over to eat dinner with us, which was a little crazy. Holder was so off-the-wall from not taking a nap and the excitement of Jonah coming over that he knocked his glass of water over at dinner, was yelling songs and who knows what else, and flinging his arms every which way in the air. He had to be spoken to away from the dinner table twice and taken into his room to calm down once. Miller, who began crying, tugging at my legs and begging for "Nack! Nack!" (snack, which is his way for saying he's hungry) at 4pm was, by 5:15pm, covered in ketchup, throwing green beans at me to tell me he was done eating, and rubbing his ketchup-covered hands all over his face and eyes in exhaustion. I had been gone for most of the afternoon running some errands and came back to find that Dave just let the kids whip through the house like little wrecking balls, tearing out every toy in sight, and making a gigantic mess. As Dave and I cleaned up the house after the boys went to sleep (both by 6:30pm!), I wondered if Nicki liked that we're the "come over casually as you are and don't worry about your kids messing our house up because our kids already have" type of friends, or if she thought our kids were totally out of control and we didn't seem to mind or want to do anything about it.

Sometimes I feel like I am constantly fighting the battle of the line between making my kids behave and learn to be civilized little people so adults don't want to hide when they see them coming and letting them be the little kids they are. What's enough? What's expecting too much? Are they being too wild? Am I being too harsh? Should I let this slide or get tough about this?

Then tonight I found out that sweet baby Tripp, not much younger than Holder B., passed away yesterday. I have followed his mom's blog for a long time, and his story has broken my heart over and over. I don't think I will ever forget him or his life.

My mind swirls when I receive news like this. I just know I am thankful that my kids can fling their arms, sing their songs and run crazy with friends through our house. Messes can be cleaned and manners can be taught.

I almost hope Tripp is throwing green beans at someone in heaven while singing at the top of his lungs, just so he can know what it feels like to be a normal, wild little boy. Free at last.

The Great Christmas Take Down of 2012, and a verse for the year

2012-01-12T19:18:00.000-05:00

It continues today, because I am going for a world record of working for about three weeks to take down Christmas in my house.

Of course, it would help if Dave didn't leave all these ornaments for me to put away, based on the excuse that he "didn't know where they went" in the box of ornaments that had various paper and bags with which to wrap said ornaments. No matter, I just did it in about 5 minutes, and then put away the nativity. Hopefully during Miller's nap and Holder's quiet time, which is the time I encourage Holder to take a nap but he instead lays in his crib not sleeping, I will be able to get the rest of the Christmas things put away so Dave can put the boxes up tonight.

Does anyone else take down Christmas and then get sad about how bare the house looks? I might need to buy an accent chair for my dining room because it just has this sad empty corner where the Christmas tree was.

Speaking of new beginnings, the other day during my quiet time I was thinking about something so I looked something up and read a few chapters beyond the verse I was looking for and this jumped out at me.

Give her the product of her hands,

And let her works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31:31 (NASB)

It just spoke so deeply to me and I decided to make this my life verse for 2012. I have never had one of these before, but I definitely feel like the Lord pulled this right out and spoke it into my heart for this year. I had been feeling so fruitless; my house was a mess, my kids were acting wild, I felt unaccomplished and disorganized despite spending what seemed like all my waking hours "doing" something. It's interesting because the more literal translation of the second sentence would be "And let her fruit praise her in the gates." (NKJV- I have both translations of the Bible and love them both).

"Give her the product of her hands." We're going to reap what we sow, one way or another. I want the product of my hands to be children with kind hearts, who have had love and worthiness and truth spoken into their lives on a daily basis. Children who know Jesus and love Him and give Him their lives. I want to make a warm and cozy home for my husband; a place he feels safe and valued and protected. I want my kids to know that no matter what the cruel and ugly world throws at them they have a safe place to come home to, with family who encourages them and tells them they are amazing little boys who the God of the universe takes great delight in. I want the product of my hands to be great relationships with my family, with my parents, with my friends. I want to want the product of my hands, you know what I mean? I want the product to be good things, even though it takes a lot of work to achieve them.

Have you ever read Proverbs 31? Girl, that chick worked hard. And at first look to me, it doesn't seem like a whole lot of fun to be her. But you know what, that's the life of a woman. We're the ones who are up before the sun rises with nursing babies and up long after it goes down sewing kids' costumes. I need to stamp this verse on my heart. Because the reality is there are so many days when it seems like I am killing myself for children who fling themselves into me with flailing fists because they're a) tired, b) told they can't have my phone, hit the dog, drink out of their brothers cup, or c) a combination of all. Days when my house looks more like a tornado whipped through it than those organized houses I see on Pinterest. Days when my husband seems to have no real clue how many things I have to do just to keep this house and family functioning. Days when I think, "Seriously? This can't be right. I am smart and was really good in school and now I am just failing at basic life. I am doing nothing big, nothing to change the world, nothing to even make this family successful. This house, me and these kids are walking disasters."

And then I see this verse and I think: this woman put in a lot of work. This wasn't all done in a day; it just couldn't be. But she was given the product of her hands. More than that, her works praised her in the gates of her community. Her work spoke for itself. She did great work and the Lord blessed that. Her children and her husband praised her. I don't even really want praise. Acknowledgment is always nice; I like birthday gifts, Mother's Day cards are appreciated. But I just want my family to be happy, to love God and each other, to be healthy and loving and happy. I want them to know how hard I work for them, not because I want to be a martyr, but I want them to know that is how much I love them. That I would dedicate my every day existence to serving God by serving them.

They're worth it. They're so, so worth it. And if they're worth it, my God is worth it even more. I'm ready to ask God to give me the product of my hands, knowing that that request means my hands need to always be busy doing good work. Who's with me?

I'm back, baby! And totally random.

2012-01-10T22:26:00.001-05:00

It's been awhile, right? I told Nicki the other day that in about a week or so I would feel ready to start a new year. Of course, then I realized that would put us at about January 15th, halfway through the first month of the new year and two weeks out from Holder's 3rd birthday party which is crazy on a lot of levels. I am so not even living in 2012 yet.

You know how you want to start the New Year off all organized and fresh? I take that to the extreme every year and basically decide to reorganize my entire house. Things that haven't bothered me for months, or really, ever, suddenly become things that must be done before I can go to bed that very night. I'm like a mad woman. I think there's about three drawers that have not be gone through, cleaned out and rearranged in this house. And those are on the list for this week.

In the meantime, I have been trying to do some art projects with this little one, who is growing into a big boy before my very eyes. Sometimes on Wednesday nights they let him do crafts with Holder's age group. He dives right in and has a big time. Holder, on the other hand, rarely participates in craft time at the nursery, often telling his teachers things like, "I can't do that craft right now. I have a lot of very important jobs to do with these trains." Oh, that one.

The mountain of laundry that existed in our home until yesterday morning was so high that Miller had to literally scale it to go from one side of the room to the other. I think it was 8 loads worth, some of which had been residing on our floor for about a week. Cause, you know, while Mommy is busy making sure every toy is organized with its like toys in a pretty bin with a label and matching picture, she lets clean clothes lay rumpled for a week on the living room floor. The mind of a woman is a mysterious thing.

But seriously, if I was busy folding laundry how could this:

Have gotten turned into this:

True. That picture may show a slight obsession with my new P-Touch labeler. But an organized house makes me happy.

Those of you who know me well may know that sometimes when everyone is really into something, I backlash just to be contrarian. I can't help it. Neither can Holder, and it drives me crazy. But that's for another post. I swear that's 85% of the reason I had Holder naturally; just because people told me I couldn't and that it was weird. But in any case, Instagram, the photo app fell into that category for a long time. But I am doing Project 365 with that app and so I decided to try Instagram if it was free (and it is). Gotta say, I really do like it :) Here's Miller today pointing at our pool cleaners. He loves to watch them work.

And say hello to this hot little mess, who has decided that being 3 doesn't mean potty training, sleeping in a big boy bed, putting his clothes on himself, or using utensils, but it does mean no longer napping.

Holder hasn't napped in a week. We've had a few meltdowns along the way- mostly his, some mine. But honestly, he just isn't tired during the day anymore and doesn't fall asleep when you do put him in his crib for naptime. As long as he is in bed by 6 or 6:30pm he's golden. Still sleeps the same amount of hours (about 13 or 14 a day), but does them all at night now. Really, the writing's been on the wall regarding this for some time now, as when he did nap he would often be awake at 10:30p, singing Joy to the World to himself in his crib. I'm probably dealing with this the worst of anyone, and trying to figure out how to keep him occupied all day without TV while still getting a minute to myself.

Here's my big project for tonight. Holder's birthday invitations. Of course this would be the year that I decide to do "out of the box" invites that I saw on Pinterest. Which is why it's three weeks until the party and I am texting everyone to make sure they have it on their calendars. Because it makes sense to spend hours making elaborate invites to give to people who have already been invited to the event via free and quick electronic means.

Anything that makes this one smile like this is worth all the time and effort, though. A little goofy, but he's saying, "Whoooa!" about a really big helicopter that was flying above our house.

This picture was taken last night. Because we were definitely still rocking two of our five Christmas trees until tonight until I finally broke down in tears and told Dave that unless he wants the trees to still be up in April he needed to turn off The Big Bang Theory and help me with something. So he took them down for me while I did Holder's birthday invites.

So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from our laundry-laden, Christmas-tree-bedecked living room to yours! Oh, wait, it's January 10th? No matter- Happy 2012 everyone!

A cold morning

2012-01-04T08:57:00.001-05:00

It is so cold here in Florida! In the 30s! We're bundled in PJs today and staying in the house. The boys asked for their LP zoo and are currently having issues over whether the alligator "can belong" on the waterfall, or that's only for the polar bear. It's difficult encouraging them to play together, because Holder gets frustrated but it's important to me that they work it out. Hopefully it will get easier as Miller gets older, but if Holder stays so particular, who knows. Hopefully you're staying warm today, wherever you are!

Christmas in pics

2012-01-03T21:00:00.000-05:00

We do Christmas pretty big around these parts, which is maybe why I was experiencing major Christmas guilt this year. Is it too much for children who don't even know how to use the potty or put their own clothes on? Should we really be spending this money on these things when my kids (and I, and Dave) already have so much? Should I be getting my kids a pair of shoes and two books for Christmas and sending the rest of the money to dig wells in Africa? We had a lot of talks about these things leading up to Christmas. I don't know if my feelings on the topic are totally resolved, or if I will struggle with the "how-much-is-too-much?" issue in future years, but for now I've come to a place of peace with how we do Christmas. Is it pretty big? Yes. Dave and I are used to big Christmases. Our families always had them. We're also usually in a financial position to be able to provide nice Christmases for our family. Check with us in the summer, when everyone else is going on vacations and we're firmly planted at home, hiking it to the beach or using our pre-paid Daytona Lagoon passes, and it's pretty evident when the sales tend to come in Dave's job. Ultimately, at the end of the day, or the end of our lives really, we will all have to be accountable for what we did with what we had, money-wise and other wise. We're okay with our big Christmases for now, so on they go.

To the pics!

In Dave's family, Santa left his gifts unwrapped. I used to think this was so weird, as Santa always wrapped my gifts. But now I see the value in having some gifts out and ready to play with, as with these big blocks that are a hit with the boys.

The porch was the spot for the big-ticket items, namely the train table that became Holder's obsession, and the easel set for Miller.

GG bought the boys a play kitchen, dishes and more pretend food for Christmas. They are really into playing in this kitchen. Even Miller likes to bring me food he's cooked and pretend to eat it!

The porch as it was on Christmas Eve. It looks different now, but we'll get to that in a future post.

The tree with all the gifts.

Miller and Holder's gifts. Who knew that Little People Zoo that my mom found at a yard sale would become one of the favorite gifts of Christmas 2011? The boys both love it!

Miller on Christmas morning. He was up at 6am on Christmas, but played in Mommy and Daddy's bed until Nina and Grandpa came over and Holder woke up around 7am.

Holder and his train table. Many hours have been spent playing trains in the past week.

Dave and I have a joke that stems from long before we had kids. I am definitely a "gifts" love language person, although maybe it has been tempered somewhat since having kids. Poor Dave has gotten used to having to do gifts pretty big over the years, especially with my birthday being so close to Christmas. I guess one year (this was years ago) I was a little disappointed with my gifts and I made sure to let him know that by telling him "this was the worst Christmas ever." I KNOW how awful that is! Trust me, I am not proud of that. Somehow that became kind of a joke between us (clearly, he is more than I deserve that he can even joke about something so mean as that), and every year now we throw that around all December. Our relationship is based much on a similar dry sense of humor.

This year we threw it around a lot because I had a practically non-existent Christmas list. I wanted a P-Touch labeler, a personalized address stamp, and some bags from 31 that I pre-bought for myself on sale months ago and just saved. Dave kept asking me and asking me what else I wanted and I would tell him, "anything I want is too expensive and we need to focus on other things," or, "whenever I want something I just buy it so there's nothing else I want except those few small things." And I really did mean it. My parents bought me a Keurig, which was also something else I really wanted but never felt like buying for myself. So Dave kept saying, "Are you ready for the worst Christmas ever because you won't tell me anything you want?" And I was like, "it's going to be good, the kids will have lots, my dad is healthy, everyone's happy, I'm good. Seriously." So come Christmas morning I got a label maker, my Keurig and my address stamp, some fun outfits from my mom, and this sitting in my driveway.

Oh my word. A 2012 Honda Odyssey Touring. With a big red bow on top, just like on TV! That's right, the girl whose Dad always told her that he thought of her every time he saw the "Lexus December to Remember sales event" commercials because that just seemed like something that would be on her list (lovely, right? And really, so accurate). The girl who told her friends she would never, I mean never, drive a minivan. The girl who once told her husband "this was the worst Christmas ever" because he got her the wrong kind of jewelry. The girl who this year really felt like seeing her healthy dad happily open his presents, her mom genuinely carefree surrounded by her family, her husband joyfully playing with trains with their two precious boys was all the gift she needed got a brand new car with a big red bow on it.

December 25, 2011. "Worst Christmas ever" was uttered lots that day.

PS- Please excuse the loveliness that is my Christmas morning look. Four hours of sleep does not become me. I have enough vanity to not post the video of me sobbing as I see the car for the first time, but if you're my real life friend I'll show it to you if you come over for a play date.

Trains

2011-12-31T08:14:00.001-05:00

This is how Holder has spent most of his time since Christmas. In fact, we moved his new train table into his room so he can a) play despite the weather and b) play without fear of The Wrecking Ball (aka Miller). But more on Christmas later.

Breaking my blogging hiatus with a musical interlude...

2011-12-30T21:05:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T06:23:00.001-05:00

Long lay the world,

In sin and error pining.

Till He appeared,

and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope,

the weary world rejoices.

For yonder breaks

A new and glorious morn.

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

-Isaiah 9:6

Merry Christmas from the West family!

Joy to the world,

The Lord is come!

Let earth receive her king.

Let every heart prepare Him room,

And heaven and heaven and nature sing!

May the marvelous mystery of Jesus fill your hearts with songs of praise today and every day!

Christmas Eve

2011-12-24T20:36:00.001-05:00

All dressed up for Christmas Eve at church

Miller is asleep, Holder is watching his first Christmas Eve movie (Veggie Tales Little Drummer Boy) with Grandpa and Daddy (Nina is sitting by Holder, fast asleep from playing with trains all day and being up all last night with Miller who is not used to spending the night at Nina's house). I'm making breakfast for tomorrow and starting to wrap gifts. Once the movie ends and Holder goes to sleep, the real work begins. A train table still needs to be set up, and the entire play kitchen needs to be organized with pots, pans, dishes and pretend food. I hope we're all in bed by 2am. The kids are super excited and we're so looking forward to our first Christmas in several years with my dad back in the mix.

As I go about all my preparations I keep thinking about Mary, so cold and tired and probably afraid that night in the cave as she went into labor. How dark the world was then, how silent God had been for so long, and how acutely aware Mary probably was, as I think all women are in their ninth month of pregnancy, that her life was about to change. I'm grateful she was brave enough to tell the angel "Let it be unto me as you've said" all those years ago, so that the world was never again without hope. I'm grateful that God loved me so much that He sent His Son to earth. That He loved my kids that much. That he loved the unlovable that much. That He loved you that much. I'm so thankful for Christmas.

Be born in me, be born in me

Trembling heart, somehow I believe that You chose me

I'll hold You in the beginning, You will hold me in the end.

Every moment in the middle, make my heart your Bethlehem.

Be born in me.

A birthday re-do

2011-12-23T10:01:00.000-05:00

Birthdays have always been a big deal to me. I look forward to this day, and the next two (Christmas Eve and Christmas) every year as a trifecta of presents, family, friends, dinners out, and fun. So you can imagine how big a deal my 30th birthday was to me. But last December was a rough month, especially for little Miller who had an ER visit and a bad, bad virus. And one year ago today, my 30th birthday, I was at Florida Hospital Children's Pavilion where I received the news that my three-month-old had vesicoreteral reflux, a chronic condition of the kidneys. Needless to say, there was not much celebrating on my 30th birthday.

The Lord has brought our family far this year. Shortly after 2011 began, we were given the news that Miller did not have VUR, which I count as nothing short of the Lord's doing. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says, I know all the details, all the test results, all the conversations with doctors and I know that it was God reaching His hand down to me and my family at a time in my life when I was struggling to see Him in the midst of a family and life racked by illness and disease and depression. He used my child's health to show me that He does hear the prayers of our hearts, and even when you feel like you're crying out to Him daily to change a situation and it doesn't, He still hears you and cries with you. Miracles are possible. And He is good, all the time.

He has continued to bless our family over this year, with a cancer remission for my father and the lifting of a depression so deep that my dad didn't work, didn't participate in family life, knew next to nothing about my children, and seldom got out of bed. I look at my dad now, laughing, smiling, healthy, insisting he will take a motorcycle trip to Sturgis, South Dakota in the next few years, asking when will the kids stay the night so he can fix a big pancake breakfast for them, and I am convinced nothing is too great an obstacle for our mighty Lord. Even more than that, God has restored relationships that were tested to their limits during this difficult season for our family, healed hearts, and reconciled family connections that were severed decades ago. He is mighty, mighty, mighty, y'all. He is a Healer, a Redeemer, a Savior. Praise be to Him!

So today I will re-do my 30th birthday. I spent the morning snuggling with little boys in my bed. Dave has replaced my old iPhone that needed to be turned off and on again to find a signal with a brand new shiny iPhone 4s. He has taken the boys to the park and I am off to meet my dear friend and birthday buddy, Nicki (I think she turns 25 today!) for a celebratory pedicure and lunch. Then tonight the boys are staying with Nina and Grandpa and Dave and I are going out with friends for dinner. I am so very happy today, and so very overcome by emotion thinking about how different I felt this day last year. I was scared, overwhelmed, confused, so, so sad, and really, very desperate. I felt like if one more thing happened I would snap in two.

Today I feel less innocent than birthdays in the past. Walking through a difficult season changes you, even when you're on the other side of it. Innocence is stripped. But wisdom is gained. I hope I am a more compassionate person at 31 than I was at 29 or 27. I know I am vastly different than I was at 21. I pray that I have become someone who is more pleasing to God, to my parents, to my husband and my friends. I am so very far from perfect, but I want to grow and to change. I feel very blessed by the life God has given me, by the people He has surrounded me with, and for the opportunity to celebrate all the things He has done for me and my family in the past year. Let the fun begin!

PS- Holder says I am turning 2 today!

Santa Visit 2011

2011-12-20T21:30:00.001-05:00

Dave, Nina and I took the boys to visit Santa today. First of all I'll state that I am not getting into the Santa Debate of 2011 on this post. I'll save that for another time. I have felt so guilty about "doing Santa" by things I have read or things people have said this month, but I finally decided to let go of the guilt. We are vigilant about so many things for our children, none more so than their religious upbringing. We do nothing with or for these children that isn't bathed in prayer and concern. So trust us when we say that "doing Santa" is something we've thought about, discussed, and decided that is okay for our kids right now. Santa exists in our house for maybe 40 days of the year. Jesus is talked about in our house daily- multiple times a day. We're not at all concerned our kids won't know the difference, and we're determined they won't grow up to be selfish trolls, with or without Christmas with Santa. Whew. Okay, back to the good stuff.

Little Miller, who has been waking at 5:45am the past few days (he must think it's Christmas each morning!) was napping when we got to the mall, and continued to sleep in the stroller until it was nearly our turn to visit Santa. He wasn't too pleased about being woken. I'm not sure if that helped or hurt his attitude about Santa. He is the perfect age for being afraid of Disney characters, Santa, and assorted strangers. But he did really well, all things considered. No smiles, but no tears, and I think he might have even uttered a "ho, ho, ho" as we were leaving. Honestly I think more than anything, he was totally blown away by the fact that Santa "is real." He has only seen pictures and books and statues (that he remembers). So a live Santa was a bit of a surprise. He watched Santa later that day with rapt attention and wonder, still amazed by the fact Santa is a person and not a carton character.

Meanwhile, sweet little Holder B., who has been practicing his Santa requests for weeks ("dinosaurs, toys, books!" Sometimes with a "Thomas train table" thrown in.) was a bit intimidated when he first started talking to Santa. But after reassurance that Santa was kind and we were all right there and he didn't need to be afraid, he did great. Smiled throughout and was so obedient to our requests to keep his fingers out of his mouth and to smile. He would look at me and I would mouth to him, "You're doing GREAT!" and give him a thumbs up and he would smile the proudest smile.

It was a great visit with Santa and my sweet little boys. I don't have many more, if any, years of matching knickers and smocked tops for my two growing babies, so I will cherish these pictures forever. Even if one day my sons as grown men groan that I ever dressed them like this.

Christmas is almost here...

2011-12-17T20:21:00.003-05:00

Lord have mercy, has it really been so long since my last post? I feel like I have lived three lifetimes in the past week, although really that's more a result of less sleep and far more decking of halls and items on the to-do list than usual. Tomorrow marks the beginning of my favorite week of the year- a week of birthday celebrations, dinners out, Santa visits, cookie baking, gift wrapping, manger scene playing, colored light viewing, carol singing, Jesus worshiping fun. I'm so excited I could burst. If the past week is any indication, I probably won't be keeping you all updated as we go along, so if that's the case I will plan a Christmastime wrap-up post to fill you in on the festivities. Until then, I'm looking forward to joyful squeals from my boys, time with friends, dinners with family, and celebrating the love that God displayed for us all by sending His Son Jesus to earth. Merry (early) Christmas to all of you! And in case this hasn't shown up in your mailbox yet, enjoy a Christmas greeting from the Wests!

Don't tell Daddy!

2011-12-09T11:02:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, when Dave is out of town, I go into Holder's room in the middle of the night to check on him, pray over him, etc. And if he wakes up when I come in, I carry him into my room and let him sleep in the big bed with me.

Daddy would not allow it. But Mommy loves it. And on those nights, Mommy makes (or breaks!) the rules.

I love those nights snuggled with my B.

Dinner

2011-12-08T20:28:00.002-05:00

How do you get a super picky, dinosaur-loving little boy to eat vegetables and, really, to eat dinner at all?

A- Sneak sweet potatoes into a grilled cheese sandwich.

B- Cut the sandwich into two dinosaur shapes.

C- Tell the little boy that if he doesn't eat at least one piece of broccoli he has to take the liquid vitamin he hates.

Dinner is tough for Holder B. But Dave and I are afraid he's not getting the vitamins he needs. I'm happy to report tonight he ate two pieces of broccoli and an entire sweet potato/grilled cheese sandwich, as well as about 10 raspberries.

Miller on the other hand ate everything on his plate, as usual, and followed up with more broccoli for dessert. Plus a bottle of milk before bed, something Holder hasn't drank since he was 14 months old. Miller is MUCH less picky, thank the good Lord! Until Holder gets more adventurous, we're muddling through with sneaky veggies and vitamin threats.

Playroom projects

2011-12-04T21:34:00.002-05:00

Last week was all about some projects in the playroom. I started Monday off at Ikea after a doctor's appointment. Another trip to Ikea, one to Hobby Lobby, some time on Pinterest, and lots and lots of time spent painting and rearranging later and the playroom mini-makeover is complete.

First, my quickest project with the sweetest result, this is a picture ledge and two $1.99 frames from Ikea with Christmas printables off my computer, plus Michael, our Elf on the Shelf. This hangs over the very full cubes of books in the playroom, and is part of a larger Christmas display. Very festive! I'll change the printables out all year.

This was one of the larger projects. I hand painted this House Rules sign, inspired by one I saw on Pinterest, with some tweaking of the rules to fit our family.

The rearranging came largely because I wanted to make a reading corner for the boys. They so often sit on the hard tile and look through books, so I really wanted something cozier for them. Although it's on the other side of the room from the bookshelf, this is the spot that worked best right now. It also allowed us to keep two couches in the playroom, plus an end table which is needed for the phone (long story about a 1960s house with one phone jack). I love how whimsical it looks and the boys like to play in the tent, especially Miller.

And the other time-consuming project, the alphabet wall. I hand painted and mod podged all the letters and tonight Dave and I hung them on the wall above the toy storage and play pen. I think this is really fun because when can you do something this playful in any other room? Although it took awhile, I definitely love how it turned out.

Here's a larger shot of the alphabet wall, and you can also see the family rules sign too.

Additionally, we hung a picture wire above the french doors to display the boys' smaller art projects/take homes from church. My mom bought two art storage frames last year for Christmas that we also put up with the boys' art work in them. We also rearranged the porch and made it more open, and I switched out some frames to hold family photos/seasonal photos of the boys. The playroom went from our former tropical/Florida family room to a full-scale kid-friendly playroom that celebrates the boys and all their interests. I hope they like it as much as I do!

Still goin' strong!

2011-11-29T20:30:00.003-05:00

I did some rearranging during nap time today and then Dave hung some things for me when he got home from work. So, as of now the playroom has a reading corner complete with tent, pillows and blankets! I love it and I can't wait until Holder sees it. He thinks the idea of having a reading corner with a tent is so much fun so I think he'll be really happy.

Also, contrary to my three blog posts today (but not really with any pics- so they were super quick to type), I spend practically no time on the Internet on a normal daily basis. But because of the Thanksgiving weekend and all the sales and everything I moved the laptop out to the couch for a few nights. As a result I spent way more time on the Internet than normal, including about an hour or two on Pinterest. I love that site but it's totally a black hole. I can only imagine how much time I would have spent on there and what all recipes I would have cooked had it been around before I had kids.

But anyway, did you know that there are TONS of fun printables for almost any occasion? Well, I didn't, but I do now! So I had Dave hang a picture ledge from Ikea and bought two 8x10 frames to go there. And they are now proudly displaying fun Christmas printables that I just LOVE! Just google Christmas printables or check out my Pinterest boards. But look under Dave's name. Long story. Pics of the completed playroom and porch makeover should be up by this weekend. Have a few painting projects to get done first!

And can I mention just in case anyone thinks I am completely redecorating that really what I am doing is rearranging furniture and hanging new things on the walls. It's more a new "kid" theme and some different arranging of things. Nothing drastic so don't be all let down when I post the pics!

Too tired to sit down

2011-11-29T11:32:00.001-05:00

I stayed up till 2am finishing my Christmas decorations and woke up at 6:45am this morning because that's when Miller woke up. So today I am pretty tired. Well actually I didn't feel tired at all until now because I'm sitting down for the first time. So on goes another cup of coffee!

With the Miller taking an early nap and Holder watching a few episodes of Dinosaur Train I was able to do some projects around the house (well, does laundry count as a project too?). One of them is this fun frame that I got at Hobby Lobby for the boys' Santa pictures. We'll fill this each year and then start doing pictures from the past four years plus a current one, if that makes sense. For right now, scrapbook paper fills the blank spots. I love how it turned out!

The good and the bad...

2011-11-29T01:46:00.004-05:00

Here's the good news:

It's not even December 1st and all my Christmas decorations are put up, including five trees and outdoor lights (these are a first for us and the boys LOVE them).

I have purchased a good number of Christmas presents.

All the boys' Christmas outfits are picked out, purchased and have arrived. I need to have a friend monogram their Santa john johns, but other than that everything is ready to go.

Here's the bad news:

My mom and I have decided to have a yard sale this Friday.

I know it's crazy but I have SO much I need to get rid of, especially before bringing a bunch of new stuff into the house. My mom has TONS of Christmas stuff for sale too, which is why we really have to do one this week.

I am full-on in the midst of a fairly big reorganization of the playroom and porch, including some new furniture and decor, wall hangings, and toy storage.

Yes, I know it would perhaps make more sense to just put this off until the New Year, but again, I want to make room for the boys' Christmas gifts and also make the playroom a bit cheerier. And once I get excited for something I really want to make it happen.

With these big items on my plate, plus wanting to finish Christmas shopping ASAP, plus planning my annual Christmas brunch, plus some fun Christmas projects I want to do (blankets for the boys, a fun frame I bought at Hobby Lobby that needs pictures put it it, favors for my play date, etc.) it is going to be a busy few weeks. Dave and my mom have shared with me that they think I am maybe doing a bit too much (why would they say that? Just because I woke up at 6am yesterday and now it's 2am the next day and I have yet to go to bed? Ha!) But I am determined to get as much of these little projects done this week so that for the majority of December I can just relax, bake cookies, visit with friends and celebrate my favorite time of year!

What's on your Christmas to-do list?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T06:38:00.003-05:00

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,

And into His courts with praise.

Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.

For the LORD is good,

His mercy is everlasting,

And his truth endures to all generations.

- Psalm 100:4-5

There really aren't words to describe how utterly thankful I am for where the Lord has placed us this year. From my father's health to my children and their continued growth, intelligence, and gifts, to my husband who is a faithful partner and provider. To my mom who is my best friend and an extraordinary help to me at all times, to my friends who let me be who I am but also challenge me to be a better wife, mother, and Christian. To my house, the food we eat, the material blessings we have, the comfort we live in and with on a daily basis. To this country, which sometimes seems so lost, but I believe still has the opportunity to get band together and get back on the right path.

To most of all my God, who is SO big, SO holy, SO merciful, and SO loving to me, who is totally undeserving of having this amazing relationship with the Creator of the Universe. I am so thankful for the ways He's revealed Himself to me this year, the ways He's changed me, the things He's done for me and my family. Thanks be to Him for all things!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families!

Mornings

2011-11-16T08:10:00.005-05:00

Most mornings my alarm goes off at 6am. Some mornings I get up, some mornings I turn it off and keep snoozing.

Most mornings Miller wakes up at 6:30am, still messed up by Daylight Savings.

Most mornings Holder wakes up an hour after Miller, grumpy as all get out.

Most mornings I make a complete breakfast from scratch, because my children won't eat things like cereal and frozen waffles.

Most mornings I am jealous that Dave sleeps later than I do, then gets to shower and get ready as he pleases.

Then Sunday comes, and Dave makes breakfast and gets the bags and the kids ready for church while I get to shower and get dressed in relative peace. Then I think about how lucky I am.

Most mornings I am still in PJs at 10am. So often that on the rare occasion I get myself dressed just to feel human Holder immediately asks, "Mommy, where are we going?"

Many mornings I think "I'm exhausted," then I look at the clock and see it's 8:30am and I think, "Are you kidding me?"

Most mornings the playroom is a disaster before 9am, we've already read 10 books, listened to several songs, set up a dinosaur exhibit and someone has probably been in a time out.

Most mornings we have nowhere to be, even if we have something to do there is rarely a specified time to be there. I love it this way, because I know there are many years ahead of us when we'll need to be somewhere at a certain time.

Most mornings I look around the house and am at least slightly overwhelmed by the things that need done: the laundry to be folded, the kitchen to be tidied, the toys to be picked up. Then Holder will ask me to play chasing games or Miller brings me a book and I remind myself to ignore the household tasks until later. These boys are only small once.

Most mornings are messy, loud, busy, and long. And we love them.

Fair 2011

2011-11-12T12:38:00.009-05:00

On Monday my parents and I decided on the spur of the moment to take the boys to the fair in the evening. We had a lot of fun. We pretty much got there as soon as it opened at 4pm.

First we checked out a pond exhibit they had set up and went to see the animals.

Miller loves doing a cow's "moo," but didn't love seeing the cows up close. I think kids are always surprised by how big cows are in real life. Holder was fine with them, until one big one moo'd right in his face. Then he said, "That cow is big and scared me!"

After seeing all the animals we ate a little dinner. Look how red Miller's hair looks in the sunlight.

We bought our ride bracelets and headed into the midway. Holder played the duck pond game and won some stuffed puppy dogs that Miller carried around most of the night. That little baby loves stuffed animals!

Holder had a big time this year on the rides. He could ride so much because he is now tall enough to ride the kiddie rides alone. They don't allow adults on some of the kiddie rides. There are also rides kids can ride with adults, and Miller rode along on most of those. When he wasn't riding, he hung out with whoever wasn't with Holder, usually Mommy or Grandpa. Miller loves Grandpa, so he was plenty happy to hang with him.

Miller's favorite ride this year was the Crazy 'Copter, a helicopter that takes you up in the air a bit and kind of spins around. Miller would wind his head around and around and laugh. He loved it! Holder's favorite ride was the little roller coaster. He rode it four times- twice with Nina and once each with Mommy and Grandpa!

As night fell Miller was getting very tired. He's been going to bed around 6:30pm a lot of nights because of daylight savings time. Plus he was getting upset that he couldn't go on rides that Holder could. Miller is very quick and thinks of himself as very big. "Can't" is a pretty big part of Holder's vocabulary and not at all part of Miller's. Miller thinks there's nothing he can't do and he gets mad as hornet when he's told otherwise.

So when Daddy got home from work he met Milly and me at the gate and picked Miller up to take him home for bed. I'm very thankful he is such a good daddy and is willing to do things like that so I can stay out a little later with Holder. So much of the time I have to sit things out because of Miller being smaller, or Holder would prefer to be the one going to the playground with Daddy or riding rides with Nina. So I cherish these times when I can participate in things with Holder.

Once Miller went home with Daddy it was non-stop kiddie rides.

We had a great time and stayed until about 8:30 or 9pm. Holder, of course, didn't want to leave but was getting so tired, and Nina, Gpa and I were exhausted! Nina and Gpa planned to take Holder back the fair last night, but it was so cold and Holder seemed to rather just go to their house and hang out, so that's what they did. We look forward to the fair every year and can't wait till next time!

Randoms

2011-11-10T10:23:00.007-05:00

- We're loving our Disney weekday annual passes right about now! Nina and I took the boys to MK (or Disney as we call it in our house- everything else goes by park name) yesterday and had a big time. Holder was totally OD'd on rides by the time we left at 7pm. We even got to see the snow from Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party on our way out- take that, Disney!

How do you know when you're a second generation FL native who lives near Disney? The boys and I were outside playing this morning and Holder said, "I'm laughing like the hyenas on the Jungle Cruise!" Ha!

- Some more of Holder's choice quotes from this morning:

Me: "Holder, do you think we should get another baby one day?"

Holder: "Hmmm. Ummm. No. I think just Milly."

Holder: "Okay, okay, okay, guys. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to eat breakfast, play outside, put Milly to bed, then I'm going to watch TV. That sounds like a great plan."

- After some serious deliberation, about a year or more of stubborn "no way, no how"-ness, and then finally getting fed up with asking the grandmothers to climb over the console to squeeze in between two giant car seats in what feels like a tiny car (how American of me, I know), I think we'll soon be saying goodbye Explorer, hello...minivan. Yep, I think the time is coming. I am still planning to look at some other options, but I have a feeling that a swagger wagon will soon come to live with us on Camelia Lane. So Toyota Sienna or Honda Odyssey is the question of the month around here. Thoughts?

- The fair is in town. My parents and I took the boys and we had a blast.

Not the best picture of Miller but the white on his face is sunscreen that I had just put on him. Is it any surprise that Miller's favorite ride was the Crazy 'Copter, a helicopter that spun around in slow circles all dizzy-like? He was laughing and spinning his head and making all the other parents laugh and laugh. A man was even calling out the window to his wife who was on the ground about how "there's a baby in here who LOVES this!" Poor Miller looks like he's about 7 months old when he's about to turn 14 months. He measures 26", which means he has 10" to grow before he can ride the other kiddie rides that Holder gets to go on. I don't see that happening for years and years...will they let a small 6-year-old on those rides, I wonder?

Raising him right

2011-11-07T14:39:00.002-05:00

This just heard from a waking-up Holder:

"Give me a G!

Give me an A!

Give me a T!

Give me an O!

Give me a R!

Give me a S!

What's that spell?

Gators!

Louder!

GATORS!

One more time!

GATORS!

Duh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh...

Goooo Gators!

Duh, nuh nuh nuh nuh...

GOOOO Gators!

DUH nuh nuh nuh nuh...

GO Gators! Come on, Gators. Get up and go!"

I'm so proud!

Football and head injuries

2011-11-06T13:17:00.004-05:00

From Matt Hinton on Mizzou joining the SEC:

SEC fans, predictably, have been slightly more reluctant to make way for another, even more far-flung interloper into the most closely knit, self-reverential family in college sports. But the time for debate is over: Once you're in, you're in. So while we start working out some of the nuts and bolts, how about y'all pull up a chair, pass the barbecue and tell us about this "Rock M" thing y'all got going on?

I love that first line. I am no fan of A&M and Missou joining the SEC. I think it makes no sense, other than from a monetary standpoint for the conference. It's annoying to me and adds two more stadiums to my visit list (two that have no interest in visiting, nonetheless. Even if we can get to Mizzou for free bc Dave has banks in St. Louis.) If you have something so special everyone wants to be a part of it and you start letting everyone in, it becomes a lot less special. Just my opinion. But we'll see how it plays out.

Dave and I had a great weekend visiting Gainesville for Homecoming. We went up on Friday afternoon and ate at our favorite pizza joint, Satchels. Which has apparently become no victim of the recession because it's doubled in size from a few years ago and was packed! We rested then headed out for a nice dinner on Friday night. We decided to skip Growl because we weren't interested in any of the acts. On Saturday we got up fairly early, headed over to Frat Row for a bit and then went to lunch at Tijuana Flats before getting to the stadium before kickoff. It was an ugly win for the Gators, but at this point, we'll take a W any way we can get one. Thank the Lord for Vandy's numerous and costly penalties, or I think the outcome would have looked a lot different. We continued to get to know the people who hold the season tickets next to us, including some folks from Atlanta who I had never really gotten to talk to before. Dave and I are still up in the air about our tickets for next year- if we should buy them at all, if we should go in on higher level seats with friends or keep our current seats, which we've actually really enjoyed.

My mom, on the other hand, didn't have such an easy time with the boys. Her weekend capped with Holder falling backwards on our front porch and cutting the back of his head on the tile. He was fine, but my mom was convinced he had some sort of head injury and spent most of last night up Goggling childhood head trauma. Holder is completely fine and having a great day today so hopefully she can set her mind at ease and get some rest. She said she and my dad again have a new appreciation for all that I do day in and day out, and more appreciation for the schedule I keep the kids on, which my mom has often told me is too rigid for her tastes. But she now sees why it's necessary to make life run smoothly with two small kids. (Side note: it's really not that tight of a schedule, but my mom is pretty unscheduled in general).

Once again, Dave and I are thankful to have my parents be such loving grandparents to our boys, and so willing to let us take little getaways to recharge and have a little fun out of "parent mode." Hopefully next time they keep the boys things will be a little smoother, but the good news for them is football season is pretty much over for the Wests. I might send Dave to the Furman game with a friend but I'm not sure that I'll make that trip, and we long ago sold our FSU tickets. We'll enjoy (or maybe not!) the rest of the season on the couch in front of the TV. It's not been the easiest one for our team, but I'd still rather be a Gator than anything else! Thanks again Nina and Grandpa and Go Gators!

Holder's recent lines

2011-11-03T14:03:00.001-04:00

At 9:45pm from his crib: Mommy! Mommy! I need you!

Me: Yes, baby?

Holder: I need my lion (a new toy) to come in here with me.

Me: Okay, but it is waaay past little boy's bedtime and you have got to go to sleep.

Holder: Okay then, Mommy. Goodnight.

And he goes right to sleep.

In the car with Nina and Mommy

Nina: Holder, what do you like better: Disney or Animal Kingdom?

Holder: Oh, I like all sorts of fun things. Like Disney, Animal Kingdom, the dinosaur exhibit, Petco, the fair...

Holder (eating a frozen yogurt stick on the porch): Mommy, where is Daddy again?

Me: Iowa.

Holder: Iowa. Iowa. Hmmm. Here Montana rock (a rock Dave brought him back from a trip to, you guessed it, Montana), have some frozen yogurt.

And just now:

Me: Holder, if I have to come in here again and ask you to be quiet during naptime, I'm going to have to give you a spanking.

Holder: Mommy, could you please shut the door?

A Dinosaur Halloween

2011-11-02T21:25:00.010-04:00

Attack of the dinosaurs!

Both boys roaring

As you know by know Holder insisted on being a carnotaurus for Halloween this year. In my usual tradition I made his costume and wanted he and Miller to coordinate.

A carnotaurus is typically believed to be red, or green with red spikes. It definitely had several spikes on the head, and was very fierce.

I used a green outfit as the base and made a matching tail out of green felt, fabric filler, and stiff felt spikes in black and red. His costume wasn't very difficult to make. The most time consuming part was the fact that I wanted to safety pin most of the pieces onto his clothing because I didn't want to ruin the pants and sweatshirt. Overall I was pleased with how it turned out and Holder was beside himself happy with it. He kept saying, "I really like this costume. I look really fierce."

Little Miller went as a dinosaur hatching out of an egg. I used the instructions for making a baby chick costume as the basic idea for the egg and hat. I made him a tail and some back spikes to go along with the dinosaur theme. I apparently took some incorrect measurements for Miller's egg, which made it ride really low on him and not come up nearly far enough on his torso. But nevertheless, we made it work. Next year I really want Miller to have a nice costume so I might not even have the boys coordinate, especially if Holder continues to be so particular. But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

The first stop we made was at our neighbor, Ms. Connie's house. She loves the boys and we visit with her often. So I wanted Holder to have a good experience with his first time trick-or-treating.

After that we got in the cars and headed to a local neighborhood where the trick-or-treating is in high gear.

We did a lot of walking so I brought along the stroller for Miller to ride in some of the time.

But he actually spent most of the night riding on Daddy's shoulders. He had a pretty big time and Holder loved trick-or-treating, although he was pretty particular about which houses he would visit, opting to skip many along the way. He got some good candy and we all had fun. Dave, Miller and I headed out shortly after it got dark and the big kids started to come out. Holder, Nina and Grandpa headed home a little later. The boys finally wound down about 8:30pm or so and felt into sound sleeps! It was a great, very Happy Halloween!

This isn't child abuse...

2011-11-01T23:40:00.005-04:00

It's our attempt at taking a picture of Miller's new top teeth, which finally broke through the skin this week after a month or so of terribly swollen gums.

Dave and I would like to assure our friends and family that no Millers were harmed in the making of this photo. See?

In fact, when we first decided to try for a picture of his new teeth I said, "Miller, open up and show us your teeth, baby!" And this is what he did! He's a smart one, that little Milly.

Divorce and dinosaurs

2011-10-31T14:08:00.006-04:00

Have you heard who's getting divorced? Wow, that was fast. Most of you know how I feel about the Kardashians. Such a gross family. I have never understood why everyone is so obsessed with them, except for the fact that Kim is truly very pretty (on the outside, at least). I suspect their show is just aimed at a generation younger than mine; maybe if I was younger I would watch it. Not sure.

As I saw the headline about Kim filing for divorce after only 72 days of marriage (yes, days), I first thought all the normal things, "I knew that wasn't going to last, they rushed into it, they're both probably too selfish." And then I looked around at the felt dinosaur and egg costumes surrounding me in my humble little laundry room, listened to the quiet of a house with two little boys sleeping in preparation for a quick dinner and trick or treating tonight. I quickly thought of Kim Kardashian, probably dressed up, surrounded by people telling her how beautiful she is, how wonderful she is, running around to some big important meeting, with $65 million or something ridiculous in her bank accounts. And I thought, "Oh, I am so glad I am not her."

I don't have even $100,000 in my bank account.

I don't have millions of people who know my name.

I will probably never travel to many exotic places.

I am routinely puked on, hit in the face by a little boy throwing a tantrum, woken up at 5am.

I worry about how I will send two kids to college, when we'll be able to replace Dave's car that has 178,000 miles on it, if our kids will always have to share bedrooms.

But the man who tells me I'm beautiful and that he'll never leave me means it when he says it. He holds me when I'm crying, loves me when I'm mean, and always comes home to me.

My kids' laughter sounds sweeter than 10,000 people screaming my name. They call, "Mommy," and I feel like I never need to be called anything else.

I know the way I spend my time matters to the One who created me. I know He's pleased when I humble myself, serve my family and others, and let Him use my ordinary life to do something for His kingdom.

I'm sitting in my little laundry room, in a house smaller than Kim Kardashian's hotel suite, surrounded by felt dinosaur costumes. And I am so thankful for it.

Boys and their pumpkin

2011-10-30T20:10:00.004-04:00

I know it's been pretty quiet around here lately but I have just been so busy getting ready for Halloween, cleaning out the boys' closets and shopping for Holder's cold weather clothes. Add in going to rehab weekly, pumpkin patch, Bible study (that has 5 nights of homework a week), church etc. and I feel even busier than I probably seem. I have tons of pictures to post, but in order to keep the blog somewhat up-to-date I am just going to post some pictures of this weekend's pumpkin carving festivities.

Holder chose to pumpkin carve pants-less, of course. Poor Miller helped us clean out the pumpkin guts and then got grossed out and started gagging so he got his spit-up shorts taken off, leaving him pants-less as well, then played with toys while Dave and Holder continued the carving. Good thing Dave decided to keep his pants on or I wouldn't be able to post any of these pics ;)

Two pants-less boys and their pumpkin. Keeping it classy.

Here's Holder "smiling" for the camera. Sweet boy.

Later that evening, Holder in PJs with Nuker and Lolly, admiring the lit pumpkin.

Miller and his crinkle-nose. Like I mentioned, Miller had to leave the pumpkin carving the night before. I made the mistake of playing up the "ewww" factor of the pumpkin guts. Miller had a great time with it at first but then started getting grossed out. He would look at the pumpkin and give a little shake like he was remembering what the guts felt like and thinking, "Eww," then he gagged himself on his thought and threw up most of a recently eaten cookie. Luckily he kept his dinner down. He is getting much better at controlling his gag reflex but this sweet little baby has a bad one! Poor thing. He seemed to be better about it today, although when he first touched the pumpkin top he said, "Ewww!" Bless his little gaggy heart.

Deciding that all the guts appear to be cleaned out, therefore the pumpkin will no longer make him puke.

Practicing his baby dinosaur roar for tomorrow night!

Off to make some costumes! Talk about waiting till the last minute!!!!

Hair help!

2011-10-28T15:27:00.002-04:00

Total crisis here- I want to get my hair cut tomorrow and get long-ish bangs. I don't know who I trust to do this. I need someone goooood! This is one of the few times I wish I had Facebook for recs. If you're in the DeLand/DB/Orlando area let me know who I should call!!!!

So true

2011-10-24T17:33:00.001-04:00

I read this in my latest issue of Parenting magazine under the title: 10 Things We Wish We Could Say to Our Kids

"Yes, I know your teacher told you everyone is equal. But you're actually the smartest, funniest, most beautiful child in Ms. Rosie's class. And the while school. And the whole world.

Don't we all feel like that about our babies?

Two and a half going on eight

2011-10-24T09:51:00.003-04:00

I wanted Holder to be an elephant and Miller to be a peanut this year for Halloween. Surely, with children ages 2 and 1 I have control over the costume selection at this point in their lives.

Alas, Holder had other, very definite plans.

One carnotaurus and one baby carnotaurus hatching out of an egg coming up.

Two and a half. At least he lets me pick his clothes out most days.

It's not October 22nd, is it?!?

2011-10-22T10:13:00.002-04:00

I have not done a thing for my children's Halloween costumes.

We have not visited the pumpkin patch.

Therefore, we have not carved pumpkins. (Well, Holder did carve one at Nina and Gpa's, adding another reason why their house is more fun than ours to the list)

Dave and I were invited to an adults-only Halloween party tonight and I just do not have the energy to go. Thinking about and donning costumes for myself and Dave was just an item I could not add to my already packed to-do list.

We've got a busy week ahead of us. I continue with my weekly rehab (long story, but let's say my it's the result of genetics and having babies close together and it involves me going down to WP to my OBGYN's office every Monday). Miller's got a weight check, but no worries there judging by how much he eats and how his little belly is getting bigger, although he is still in 6-12 month clothes comfortably). Playdates, lunches, the pumpkin patch, Halloween costume prep, the FL-GA game (not going to that. My heart can't handle the World's Largest Cocktail party these days and those nasty GA fans woofing in my face.)

Holder's behavior the past week has been nothing short of frustrating. What started last Saturday as a bad mood has turned into a little 2-year-old phase that has me wondering, "When did demons possess my first born?" He's been kicking, hitting, pushing, yelling, fit-throwing. He doesn't want to wear socks. He doesn't want his hair washed (this resulted in the worst fit ever, with him hitting and kicking Dave and hardly being able to breathe). He doesn't want to go anywhere. He doesn't want to stay home. He doesn't want Miller to even look at him. He doesn't want to eat waffles, but not eggs or pancake either. Ugh.

I know these things come in phases, even having only been at this mothering thing for just shy of 33 months I know enough to know that's how things roll. With Holder in particular, I have noticed that his behavior is generally challenging around the "halfs" (18 months, 2.5 years), and right before a big milestone (I remember him being a terror for about 2 weeks and then starting to talk in complete paragraphs around age 2). I expect him to either start sleeping in a big bed or potty training, or maybe just turning 3 and this stage will disappear, but boy, has it been challenging. We've been working on being consistent, using short explanations for actions when he's throwing a fit, getting him lots of sleep, and giving him chances to get his energy out in a positive way. I will also admit to asking God to rid my child of any sinful willfulness that's causing this, just to cover my bases. Does that make me sound like a total Bible thump-er??!

Yesterday we had a fun day with Nina at Animal Kingdom. It was the first day of our new weekday only annual passes so hopefully there will be lots of fun Disney days to come! Now I'm off to do some returns at the mall and maybe make a list of things I need to get done over the next few days! Pics from the recent weeks to come soon!

They make me laugh

2011-10-18T07:08:00.004-04:00

I heard Miller talking around 6:30am (I decided to sleep in today when my alarm went off at 6am!), and looked at him on the monitor to see him laying in his crib talking and clapping his hands. Both the "normal" way and the Miller way, which is to clap his hands against his knees in an alternating pattern- left hand claps the knee while right hand is in the air and vice versa. It was hilarious. Miller has been a joy this past week or so. He's been sleeping and eating well, in a great mood, interested in books and learning about things, and just happy and fun. Lately he has been reminding me of Zephaniah 3:17. I imagine the Lord delighting in Miller and his zest for life, his funny and spirited nature. I also pray God speaks to him in his wild times and that His love calms Miller's adventurous spirit if it ever gets too much!

And Miller is not the only one making me laugh these days. Holder, who has been the opposite on Miller and has been in a pretty consistent bad mood since Saturday, has nevertheless been saying some pretty funny things. Most of them I can't laugh about in front of him, but still make me smile over how grown up he is becoming and how much older he seems than his 32 months.

(To Nina who was calling me to ask if Holder could spend the night): "Nina, don't call Mommy. She might say no."

"Little boys who don't use kind hand and don't obey cannot do fun things like Disney or the dinosaur exhibit. Good little boys who do use kind hands and do obey can do fun things like Petco, the dinosaur exhibit, Nina's house, the playground..."

"NO, Mommy! Milly can't look at granddaddy T-Rex OR great granddaddy T-Rex! He can't even LOOK at them!"

"Ummmm, Mommy let's go to Nina's house. I think that would be a great idea!"

(Talking about a dream): "Mommy, last night we were at Disney. You were there, and I was there and Nina was there and Milly was there. First I rode the magic carpets with Nina and then I rode the magic carpets with Mommy."

(To Miss Mandy as they were going into the creeper room in the church nursery to get his diaper changed): "Is that my baby Milly sleeping? Okay good."

Dave and I also noticed Holder crossing his eyes the other day at lunch. When we questioned him on it he told us he was looking at his hair. Poor thing needs a haircut in the worst way before he crosses his eyes and they get stuck like that! ;)

It's one of those times when I feel like I am riding the toddler/preschooler roller coaster. I know whatever Holder's going through (growth spurt, emotional maturation etc) will be over soon. But boy, we are having a rough few days with him. He's even been telling Nina, "I don't like you" when she tells him no about something. It's been challenging with lots of crying fits from Holder and lots of quizzical looks from us like, "What's come over this child?" Hopefully we'll be over this behavior soon. In the meantime I am using the times Holder is asleep or occupied to delight in my happy, playful Miller!

Friends

2011-10-13T07:30:00.001-04:00

Miller's current preferred mode of transport

2011-10-09T20:02:00.003-04:00

Miller is a walking machine these days! He now walks more than he crawls. So cute, especially because he's the size of a 7 month old!

PJs on the porch

2011-10-07T19:12:00.003-04:00

The weather has been so nice lately, especially in the mornings, that right after the boys wake up they typically play on the porch. They stop to eat breakfast, then go right back to the porch for more playtime until I decide that it's either too hot or we all need a little break and head inside.

I have had a love-hate relationship with our porch over the years we've lived in this house. But this spring my parents paid for it to be re-screened and to have metal siding put up along the bottom of it, making it more secure for the kids and dog. After that, Dave and I had it carpeted and some leaks in the roof fixed and now I pretty much love the porch. It could use some updated decor, but mostly it's really nice.

Hans gets to play with his ball that I don't allow in the house, the kids love the change of scenery, and I get to drink my coffee and play with them in relative peace. When the weather is nice and I can open both french doors, the playroom becomes HUGE- like 800 square feet. The kids love the indoor-outdoor feel of the room and so do I. We've spent a lot of time lately on the porch in our PJs.

12 month Christmas PJs

2011-10-06T09:23:00.002-04:00

Holder wore them when he was 10, almost 11 months old.

Miller will wear the same ones when he's 15 months old. Peanut.

Doctors and dinosaurs

2011-10-05T09:19:00.002-04:00

Yesterday I took Holder and Miller down to Orlando for Miller's urologist appointment. I had planned on Nina going with us, but she called on Monday night and said she had a cold (she sounded awful) and didn't want to get the boys sick. Dave had a plane to catch on Tuesday and I just decided to brave taking both of them down by myself.

First we got stuck in traffic on I4 due to a small accident (on the other side of the road no less), but we arrived right in time for our appointment. They have recently re-done the offices and they are beautiful, with a nice playroom for the kids. I suspect most offices in that building are similarly nice, as it's a building solely for pediatric specialists adjacent to the children's hospital. In any case, Holder quickly discovered a huge amount of dinosaurs and got to work setting up a "dinosaur exhibit" (his words). He was not a happy camper when 15 or so minutes later we were called back. He threw a huge fit, saying he wanted to stay in the waiting room- yeah, not going to happen. I told him he could take a dinosaur back into the exam room with us, but he wasn't having it. Each nurse was like, "Oh no, what's wrong, buddy?" (not knowing what his fit was about) to which he replied, "Ummm, actually I'm just not feeling very good right now."

It's so hard being two, isn't it?

We waited forever in the exam room for the doctor to read Miller's latest kidney ultrasound. When we finally met with him, both boys had already watched cars through the window, played I spy, played dinosaur fighting games, eaten an entire bowl of blueberries and strawberries, and had their Nuks and Lollies. The good news is Miller's kidneys look perfect, any reflux he might have is resolving on it's own and will never cause him any problems. I also discussed my fears about his small size with Dr. Keating, since urologists are usually familiar with anatomical-related growth issues, and he assured me that Miller is completely normal. He's small for sure, but since he's eating and eliminating normally, it's just his genetics and there's nothing to be done, except for me to stop worrying. We're going back to Dr. Keating in a year, just to check Miller's kidney growth and make sure it's still normal. And the dr said because Miller is so good, they'll just do the ultrasound during the appointment. Yea!

Holder threw another little fit about leaving the dinosaurs after I paid. I just picked him up and carried him out yelling. I was so tired by the time we got him, got everyone fed and down for a nap I actually took a nap! My sweet mom said she admired me for taking both boys to the appointment on my own because it's a lot of work. Honestly, I think for the most part I am used to it because I am on my own a lot of the time. But I am definitely glad Miss Mandy is coming in 30 minutes and I can run some errands on my own!

Most of all, I am grateful for the way this urologist/VUR experience has turned out for Miller and our family. I never forget that this is all a miracle from God Himself (that's what I believe anyway). I can remember all the fears I had, even though this was never anything life threatening. I can remember the tears, the dread, the questions and the worry. I remember meeting with Dr. Keating for the first time and leaving that appointment weeping because it all just seemed to disappear. I thank God for His hand on my baby boy every day, and his blessings on our family. To God be the glory!

Holder's meals

2011-10-03T20:05:00.002-04:00

Two and a half is an adventure! Holder is full of personality. He never stops talking and is full of questions. He says funny things all the time, except for when they're not so funny, like saying "No way, Jose!" when I tell him it's time for a bath.

Lately some of the funniest things he's been saying have been about food. Several times a week I will go get him from his crib in the morning and the first thing he says to me is, "Mommy, is my breakfast ready for me?" Today Dave heard Holder ask me, "Um Mommy, what have you cooked me for breakfast today?" and thought that was so funny.

Tonight as I was fixing dinner Holder asked me, "Mommy, what did I ate for dinner yesterday?" I told him lasagna and he said, "And what are you cooking me for dinner right now?" I just thought it was so cute. Of course his favorite things to eat remain chicken nuggets and french fries. I've also been doing homemade hamburgers with sweet potato fries and veggies and fruit for dinner every few weeks. That meal is also a big hit with the boys and a good way to get them to eat well. Miller is a much more adventurous eater than Holder, at least for now.

As you can see Holder really likes these little plastic cups we got as a free gift at the farm we visited earlier this summer. He asks for those a lot. You may also notice that he also doesn't like to wear pants around the house, and usually refuses to put them on after diaper changes. Ha! We're all about comfort here!

Not quite as planned

2011-10-02T12:11:00.003-04:00

The past week ended in some ways that weren't quite planned. On Wednesday Miller started having a really runny nose which of course meant he puked up some food and spit as well (TMI, but true). I thought maybe it was teething- his little top front teeth are about to burst through.

But on Thursday he started coughing and running a low fever. Holder also started coughing and I had a sore throat, so it seemed a virus was among us. Out came the humidifiers, Kleenex, Vicks Baby Rub, Motrin, Benadryl etc. We cancelled all our plans, listed our tickets for the UF-Bama game for sale, and hunkered down to ride the illness out. Come Friday Miller was running a higher fever (about 101.5), but Holder seemed to be improving nicely.

By Saturday morning Holder and I were feeling fine. Miller was feeling better I think, but was rubbing his ear and coughing really loosely so I wanted to have him checked. Dave took him to the dr and they discovered he does in fact have fluid in both his ears, although the fluid isn't truly infected yet. But that combined with a bit of fluid in his lungs and they wanted to just give him something to knock it all out. He's been on antibiotics for three doses and is doing really well. He's not coughing, fevering or rubbing his ears anymore. He's sleeping and eating well and keeping everything down. He barely needs his nose wiped. Holder and I feel totally fine, so tomorrow we re-enter the world! Which is a good thing because we have some fun things planned for this week and we are all so bored sitting around the house!

Dave and I did end up going up to Gville for the game yesterday. The game obviously didn't have the outcome we hoped for, but this is definitely a rebuilding year for the Gators, and we weren't expecting to win. It seems almost everyone in our section sold their tickets to Bama fans- we were surrounded. We did meet the couple who hold the season tickets next to ours though, as this was the first game they've attended this year. They were super nice and left in the third quarter mentioning he needed to work today, so I'm thinking maybe he's a preacher? Now I'm wondering if he was upset that I went off on an Alabama fan wearing a feather in her hair after she yelled at me for stepping on her foot, beginning my tirade with, "Listen, Pocahontas..." But you know those niceties I've tried to develop as I mature sometimes fly out the window during a game.

My mom stayed with the boys and they did fine, right up until Miller woke up around 1am and wouldn't go back to sleep for my mom. She said he was gassy and seemed uncomfortable, but really I think he was hungry (he's refusing goat milk bottles these days) because as soon as I nursed him he settled down. Also, Miller is going through some sleep training issues. He wants you to rock him, but he also won't settle and go to sleep, so after feeding him and trying two times to rock him with him playing with my hair and kicking his legs, I put him in is crib and let him work it out. He talked to himself for a bit then went to sleep for the rest of the night. Dave and I are both so thankful to have my mom, who is such a great Nina to the boys and is willing to help us with them so we can do things like go to football games or go out to dinner with friends. Thank you Nina! By the time I went to bed it was 3am!

Thankfully Dave got up with the kids this morning and let me sleep till 10am. We skipped church, which was my plan even if we didn't go to the game (to let the kids have one more day to be better). Now everyone else is taking a nap and I am off to fold laundry that has been sitting out for about 5 days! I wish we had gotten out more as a family this weekend to enjoy the cooler weather, but I am hoping it sticks around from now on for all the fun fall activities that are beginning!

Week in the Life II- Day Five

2011-09-27T23:22:00.001-04:00

*** Yes, I know I missed Monday, which was technically Day Five. We just basically went to my mom's all day and I made broccoli chicken nuggets and a casserole for dinner. I can't remember any other details, so we'll just skip Monday!

5:30am- Miller awake, nurse. Refuses to go back to sleep. I send Dave in to tend to him- I am exhausted- and fall back asleep.

Next thing I know it's 7:45am and I hear Miller on the monitor awake. I look over and Holder is waking up next to me, also because of Miller on the monitor. I come to find out later that Holder was up at 6:30am and asked to sleep with me (well, he asked to watch TV in Mommy's big bed but Daddy said no, you can go lay with Mommy in the big bed and Holder fell back asleep). I know people complain about their kids who sleep with them all the time and how crowded it is (and it is when there's two adults and one preschooler) in the bed, but I love laying with Holder. My mom and I slept in my bed a lot of nights growing up. She's fall asleep in there with me and just stay. So to me it's a very natural and comfortable thing to do. Now, it's better when it's just me and Holder, but I look forward to family vacations when Dave and I each sleep with a kid in a double bed. Did your families ever do that? Dave's did and he and Parker would fight over who had to sleep with their dad, because he snores!

We get up, play and have eggs and toast for breakfast. I drink some coffee and the boys play. We play on the porch while I talk to my mom on the phone.

10am- Miller seems tired so I put him down for a morning nap while Holder watches TV, then I take a shower.

11am- Miller is up, so we play for a bit and then I start to fix lunch- homemade chicken nuggets (the ones I made yesterday) and sweet potato fries, strawberries, raspberries and blueberries. I eat a sandwich.

12pm- Put Miller in the playpen and I read books to Holder in his big boy room then put him down for a nap. After Holder goes to sleep Miller and I play and read a LOT of books in the playroom. He's really starting to learn so much, points to everything, and has learned how to make a monkey sound in addition to roaring (which is his showoff trick- very cute).

1:30pm- Start to rock Miller for his second nap. He's fighting it big time even though I know he's tired. He's tired, but not tired enough truthfully. He's not normally a sleep fighter so I know he really needs one nap a day unless he's sick. I should have just had him power through till 11:30am.

2pm- Miller falls asleep finally!

I go watch TV and think about folding laundry.

2:45pm- Miller is awake, so I go get him and put him in the exersaucer for a bit.

3pm- My mom comes over. She bought some hamburger buns I need to take to church by 4pm. She plays with Miller and reads him some books.

3:45pm- Holder is awake- 3 hour nap!- so we get everyone changed and decide to drop off the hamburger buns then go to TJ Maxx.

5pm- After TJ Maxx we go to Nina's and have tacos for dinner. After dinner we play in the sandbox- Miller eats some sand by chewing on a sandbox toy. Doesn't like it and spits it up. About 15 minutes later he touches the sand in the sandbox, is reminded of the taste I guess and gags. Does it once more and gags enough that he throws his entire dinner up right there on the grass. I kid you not! This child's gag reflex is SO sensitive that just the touch of the sand made him puke! I wouldn't have believed it if I wasn't sitting right there for the entire thing.

We wash him off and clean everything up then the boys decide they want to get in the pool, so we let them splash on the sun shelf for awhile. Of course Miller is crazy and wild- he's got no fear. I'd always planned on getting Holder serious swim lessons next summer at 3 1/2, but I think Miller, who will be 20 months, will also be getting them.

After everyone got out of the pool we played for a few minutes. By 7pm- his normal bedtime- Miller was so tired and we had been so patient we insisted on leaving. Cue Holder saying, "I don't want to leave Nina's!" or "I'm NOT leaving!" Our saving grace was that my mom's car was still at my house, so she came with us for the ride. As she was leaving when we got to my house, Holder said, "I wish you wouldn't leave, Nina." No one can break your heart like a small child, can they? My mom left and Dave and I got everyone inside and in PJs and to bed.

Dave and I talked for a few minutes about his day at work, then I heard Holder asking for me through the monitor, so I said goodbye to Dave who was leaving to meet some friends and I went in to Holder who told me that, "I didn't like Daddy's singing and I want you to sing." I sang him a few songs and put him back in his crib, then I watched a little TV and did some of my Beth Moore David Bible study for tomorrow night. I was in bed by 10:45pm and passed out by 11pm. I didn't even hear Dave come home!

Week in the Life II- Day Four

2011-09-25T13:35:00.001-04:00

4am- Miller is up to nurse.

7am- I sit up in bed fast! I knew we needed to wake up early and I forgot to set an alarm. Thankfully I woke up pretty much right on time!

Dave and I get ready for church and get Miller fed and ready.

8:35am- We're out the door. Super early for us on a Sunday.

Get to Nina's. Dave and Miller stay in the car and I run inside with Holder's church clothes to get him changed. We asked my mom to have him fed and everything by 8:30am, so they were waiting for me when we got there.

Holder of course throws a fit about leaving Nina's. My mom tells him that she's going to church too so he needs to go to his church with his friends. Holder says- I kid you not- "Hey, I have an idea! How about you guys go to church and I stay here at Nina's?" He's 2 1/2 and obviously something else. I gather him up and we leave for church, stopping for Dave to get a Coke and some OJ for our SS class on the way.

9am- Church. Dave is teaching our SS class today. He does this occasionally to give our teacher a week off here and there. We also brought breakfast this morning. During second service, I taught Holder's 2-year-old class which is something I do every other week. Mornings like this are crazy, but we love our church and want to serve where we can.

12:20pm- Arrive home from church, feed both boys lunch. Holder sits with me and eats an entire peach- I'm so proud of him! He also eats some pizza. Miller eats yogurt and pasta. We put both boys down for naps. Dave and I relax, watch TV (Dave) and read magazines (me).

3:30pm- Miller wakes up. Dave and I play with him. He's getting so good at practicing his walking! Dave goes to mow the lawn and I feed Miller a snack of baby goldfish. He has refused goat milk bottles all day, both at church and at home.

4:15pm- We wake Holder up and get him ready to go to dinner at friends' house. He is a bit grumpy at first, but he is excited about going to play with a friend from his SS class. On the way we stop and pick up some flowers at the grocery store and Holder comes to help me, which he is excited about. He requests that we bring our friends red roses, but I decide that a bouquet of spray roses is a bit more appropriate. :) We eat a great dinner and visit with our friends, Marlize and Jacques. The kids eat and play and get all wound up. Whew!

7:30pm- Get home, give the boys and bath. I put Miller to bed and Dave puts Holder to bed. Dave and I both read at the kitchen table for about 30 minutes then decide we're going to bed too! I think I was asleep by 9:30pm. Not sure why, but I am so tired!

I look at these days in our life and I see so many shortcomings. I should be reading my Bible more, I should be exercising, I should be organizing or cleaning more or doing elaborate activities with my kids. Where is all my time and energy? So much of the time I feel like I am in survival mode. September has been a pretty stressful month for our family and a lot of our friends. I almost feel like all this stress is combining into one big stress bubble that I have been living in. I want to be released from all of this, and I pray that the weeks to come are easier, calmer, and simpler.

Week in the Life II- Day Three

2011-09-24T20:35:00.000-04:00

3:15am- Miller wakes up. I can hardly open my eyes, having only been asleep three hours. But I manage to drag myself in there and nurse him. I honestly have little to no recollection of these events.

6:45am- Miller is up. I am still really sleepy, so I put some toys in his crib hoping he'll stay busy for a bit.

7:14am- Miller's thrown all the toys out and is definitely up for good. So I am up for good too! I give him a bottle of milk and I have a cup of coffee.

8:15- Give Milly his bfast- banana and cheerios. I mix regular cheerios with chocolate cheerios as a treat. He doesn't seem to like the chocolate. Honestly, I think all kids prefer Honey Nut Cheerios but we're out so once they go back on BOGOF I'll stock up and that's probably what I'll give to both boys.

8:30- After bfast we play, Miller drinks some more milk . So far we're doing two 4-oz bottles a day, so this was a continuation of his first 4 oz bottle. He doesn't really get down to business with these bottles the way you would think of "a baby drinking a bottle," or like he does when he nurses. He treats it like he's drinking water; a few sips here, a few there. Soon I'll probably just put milk in a sippy for him. I just don't want to be one of those families that finds old sippies of nasty milk under the couch so I have a little anxiety about free-roam of milk cups. I write yesterday's blog post while Miller drinks his milk and plays with balls in the laundry room with me.

9:20am- I decide that we could either sit around the house doing the same old, same old, or we could do something more fun. So I get us dressed and we decide to have a fun Mommy-Milly morning.

10am- We arrive in Maitland for the JBF sale, buy some PJs for Holder and some books for both boys. Miller rides in the ring sling and says hi to everyone, and points at all the babies, often making his "gentle" or kiss sound, "ooooooohhh!". Sweet pea. However, that sweet little thing gets mad when I won't let him out of sling and on the ground to look at books. We have a little discussion of "gentle hands" in the book section when he starts hitting my chest to tell me just how mad he is. Bless his toddler heart! He takes to my gentle hands demonstration and also becomes distracted when a women carrying a baby girl in a sling starts talking to me about Melissa and Doug responsibility charts and puzzles. Miller is enamored with all babies, especially baby girls. I am reminded that Nicki has suggested our church might need to start a preschool "True Love Waits" program because of Miller. She's probably right. Oh Lord!

11am- Head to Panera, Miller loved looking at people, and was very charming and well behaved.

He is a very smart and sweet boy. I am amazed as I sat there watching him, uninterrupted by Holder's questions or my busyness around the house, how much he wants to learn and how many things he already knows. He was pointing to everything, taking everything in. He tried to mimic me saying, "uh oh!" and "yum!" very well. It was a very fun lunch with my baby boy. It was yummy too- half a sierra turkey sandwich and a Greek salad for me. Miller ate an entire bowl of mac and cheese, blueberries and strawberries that I brought from home, some bread that came with my salad and half a tube of yogurt! I guess this is why Dr. Lewis isn't worried about Miller's size. It seems no matter how much he eats God wants him small!

After Panera we headed to SuperTarget for some more strawberries, and fruit- Target has the best prices on organic fruit that I can find. We also got some carrot and sweet potato fries that the boys like. I wish Target had goat milk, since Miller drinks about 8oz of that a day now, but alas they do not. They have every other kind of milk though- almond, rice, soy, coconut, lactose-free. I forgot to get cheese for sandwiches at Target, so that and the goat milk will give me reason to go to Publix soon.

12:30pm- we arrive home. Miller is asleep in the car, so I put him down in his crib (LOVE that this child stays asleep when he's moved. What a blessing!), and put away the groceries. Not long after that Dave got home from his retreat, so he ate and we hung out. I finished folding and putting away the laundry that Dave started on Friday. Gpa called and said that he, Nina and Holder B. were on their way home from Orlando and Holder fell asleep in the car. They wanted to know if they could take him back to their house, so I said sure and that we would meet them over there for dinner tonight.

2pm- Miller wakes up and drinks a 4 oz bottle. The he, Dave and I play in the playroom for a long time. Miller was super happy, laughing at everything, dancing to his new guitar toy from his birthday, roaring like a dinosaur and just being funny.

4pm- We leave for my parents. We arrived to find Holder having a big time on his sit n spin. He and Miller played with everyone while Dave and I ran to the grocery store for some last-minute dinner items. When we got back my mom and I fixed dinner. The boys and I ended up being the only ones to eat (everyone else had a late lunch apparently), and we went outside for a bit. When it was time to go home Holder had a complete meltdown over leaving Nina and Gpa, and my mom almost started to cry, so we decided to let him stay one more night. Tomorrow will be an extra early morning going over there before church to get Holder dressed and in the car for church. And Dave is teaching Sunday School so we definitely need to be there on time.

6pm- Dave, Milly and I get home. We put Milly in the bath and I put him to bed at 7pm. Dave and I each work on our Sunday School lessons (he's teaching our SS class and I am teaching Holder's), then put on the recorded Gator game.

8pm and I'm planning on watching a bit of the game then going to bed! I am so tired!

Week in the Life II- Day Two

2011-09-23T23:59:00.000-04:00

8:14am- I wake up to my kids banging on my bedroom door crying. Apparently Dave was letting me sleep in but the kids weren't trying to have that. I go out and ask Dave if he's fed them breakfast yet, to which he says no because they haven't been up that long. Miller's crying and making the sign for "milk" (which also just means "hungry" if the occasion fits), so we feed them. I drink a cup of coffee.

We all play and at 9:45am I realize I have to start getting ready for a doctor's appointment or I'll be late. A huge rush for me ensues, Dave is trying to answer work phone calls and watch the kids at the same time, which isn't really working, so I am frustrated.

10:30am- Say goodbye and get out the door with a second cup of coffee. I run by the eye doctor to pick up my new glasses and sunglasses, then head to Winter Park for my dr appointment.

11:25am- Arrive at doctor.

1pm- Leave doctor. Haven't had anything to eat today so I run by McDonald's on the way to our friend's new house in Maitland. Tour her new house (very big with a SUPER nice pool/outdoor kitchen area- LOVE it!), love on her kids, help her put them down for a nap, eat some Korean BBQ (see I make up for no breakfast by eating two lunches!), and chat. Her MIL shows up so I chat with her for a bit and then leave.

3:40pm- Late coming home. Dave was supposed to meet his friend to drive to our church's men's retreat at 3:30pm. Whoops. Dave leaves. Miller is awake, Holder still sleeping. Call my mom and tell her to head over to pick Holder up. Give Miller a bottle of goat milk. I should probably not be giving him his milk in a bottle, but he's just so little that I forget he is a year old. Although if he wasn't a year, he wouldn't be having milk in the first place. He's only had goat milk a few times, but he loves it and is doing really well with it.

4:15pm- Holder up, reads some books with me while Miller plays with toys in Holder's room.

4:30pm- Nina arrives. She plays with the kids while I pack Holder's bag. They leave for a fun night at Nina and Gpa's. Grandpa asked Holder to spend the night so they could have a big Saturday breakfast together. Then they're going to Orlando to see my dad's other daughter for the afternoon. She really wants Holder to meet all of her cats. Holder loves cats and seems excited.

5pm- I fix Miller dinner of mixed veggies and pasta with green beans and I eat a piece of quiche. We play chase for a long time and I try to get some video of him doing the things he does a lot- waving a saying "hi," roaring, etc. I decided I am lazy and use the rain as an excuse to skip his bath. Bad mommy! Dave calls to check in. We talk briefly as he needs to head to dinner at the retreat.

6:40pm- Miller starts to get a bit fussier, so I ask him if he wants to go to bed, put his PJs on, and nurse him. By 7pm, he's out. He keeps to this very consistent bedtime except on Wednesdays when we're out late for church. While I was putting Miller down my mom called and left a message saying Holder ate all his hamburger gravy with mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables and asked for more! For a boy who struggles to eat veggies, this was a big deal and great news! Yea Holder!

I clean up, put away laundry, and clean off our dining room table (always the "landing place" for stuff in our house) until about 9pm. Watch Project Runway and Jersey Shore (I know! But I needed mindless TV), organize my calendar for the upcoming weeks, and eat a dark chocolate granola thin- those are yummy!

12am- Head to bed. I always go to bed too late when Dave is out of town. It's a bad habit and I don't know why I do it, so I am determined to be better the next time he goes on a trip.

This wasn't a very typical day in that I wasn't with my kids much (or at least for me that's not much). But it's always nice to have the occasional day to put on makeup and be out in the world for a bit, visit with friends, etc. But I miss my family on days like this. They really are the center of my world.

Week in the Life is Back!!!! Day One

2011-09-22T14:05:00.004-04:00

5:45am- Alarm goes off, get out of bed and hear Miller whimpering

Nurse Miller

6:07am- Make coffee, check blogs, email etc.

Hear Miller fussing- great, he didn't go back to sleep. Decide to let him try and work it out, go bcak to computer.

6:30am- Go into Miller's room; he's thrown Lolly and Nukers out of crib. Give him toys and books and leave him in crib. He's a year old now and I am not letting him out of crib before the sun rises.

Begin devotional and drink half a cup of coffee. Miller is quietly playing with toys in crib. Good boy!

7am- Holder is awake and yelling grumpily, go in to get him. He asks to cozy in my bed. Take him in there where Dave is still laying down and ask Holder if he wants to cuddle with Daddy. "No, I want to cuddle with Mommy!" So I lay with him for a bit. He asks for TV so I turn some on and leave him in bed with Dave. Go to get Miller up since the sun is rising.

TV off, Holder is out with me, asking for french toast, not happy when I tell him he's had too much lately, we compromise on eggs and toast. Boys play while I fix breakfast.

Boys and I have eggs and toast for breakfast. I think collectively we eat 7 pieces of toast, one of which was mine. I need to start shopping at the discount bread store! The boys play while I clean up from breakfast.

Around 8:50am Miller is getting fussy. Hmmm, maybe don't get up at 5:45am! I nurse him and put him down for a rare morning nap. Holder watches Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and I take a shower. After I get out, the TV goes off, Holder throws a fit, Miller wakes up so I change him, blow dry my hair (which quickly ends up in a ponytail so why bother?), change a crying Holder's clothes.

10:30am- Nina arrives and we leave for Miller's 12 month check up. He's a tiny little peanut, but very healthy and doing great. I'm concerned about his weight (or lack of) even though Dr. Lewis isn't, so we're going back next month to check his progress. But more on that in another post. I will say my favorite exchange from the dr visit was:

Me: I don't know. I'm worried. He's just so little.

Dr: Okay, well, he's still on breast milk. Does he eat?

Me: Eat what?

Dr: Food.

Me (shocked voice): He eats everything!

After the dr we headed to Petco for our usual post-good-behavior-at-the-dr visit to look at the animals. Holder talked a lot about red and yellow and green lights and directions on the way there. We also told him that we would go to Target and eat at the Target restaurant as a treat after Petco.

After Petco, we pull into our local Target, to which Holder says, "No. I don't want to go to this Target. I want to go to the BIG Target." (He's talking about the SuperTarget in Sanford, which I will say has a much larger restaurant. But what 2 1/2 year old says that?!?) We eat chicken Alfredo pasta, a ham sandwich and chicken nuggets between us. I eat Holder's carrot sticks too, since he's refusing those lately. Sigh.

1:45 or 2pm- We arrive home. Holder is nearly asleep in his car seat and Miller is passed out in his. Nina puts Holder in his crib and I lay Miller straight down in his. Neither one makes a sound!

Nina leaves to go to a meeting, I check my email and type half of this post, then fold laundry and watch TV. Well, just TV. Watched new series, "Revenge" and it was so good! I'm hooked! Also watched half of the season premiere of The Middle. I love that show! I think it's funny that Axl, the oldest son used to be the only character that annoyed me and now he's my favorite.

4pm- Miller wakes up grumpy so I nurse him and play with him until he gets happy

4:20pm- Holder wakes. We all played chasing games together.

5pm I started cooking while the boys played. There was a bit of drama to get them to stay in the playroom while I cooked hamburgers on the grill pan, so I open the porch and they stay out there till dinner time. Score one for Mommy!

5:30pm- the boys and I eat homemade hamburgers on whole wheat bread (we had no buns), carrot sticks with ranch dip, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries and sweet potato fries. I tried to clean up a bit while they played, but then just gave up and played with them.

6:30- boys are getting a little crazy so I put them in the bath. Dave comes home so I ask him to take over so I can clean up and fix him his dinner (same dinner, it just would have gotten gross sitting around so I cooked his separately). Dave does bath and PJs and then eats while I put Miller to sleep.

7:15pm- Nina arrives because Dave and I have a meeting at church at 7:30pm. We go to meeting, get home around 9:30pm. Chatted with my mom till about 11pm, I answered a few emails and wrote this post and now at 11:45pm I am finally headed to bed!

Early to rise

2011-09-22T06:31:00.002-04:00

When I quit working after becoming pregnant with Holder I thought I gave up alarm clocks for the foreseeable future. But lately I have been setting an alarm to wake up early- as in between 5:45 and 6:30am (the former being a good day and the latter being a bad one when I've hit snooze or readjusted the wake time in the middle of the night). It's really been a good thing. I feel better when I have already had some quiet time, some coffee, and maybe some computer time, and some time to just wake up before delving headfirst into all the meeting-of-needs that is my normal daily routine. Would I love to tell you that on the mornings I wake at 5:45am I also exercise and shower? Sure, but that pretty much never happens. The time moves fast and before I know it, even if my kids sleep late (7:30 or 8am), I am still rushing to brush my teeth and throw on clothes, even just comfies, before getting them out of their cribs. But the most important thing is I am awake, if I have bad Bible study I am refreshed and renewed, and I usually have a much happier attitude. That is worth the wake up time in and of itself. And of course, like anything, you kind of get used to waking up to an alarm.

The only problem comes on mornings like this one. My alarm went off at 5:45am, since Dave and I went to bed at 10pm, fairly early. As soon as I woke up I heard Miller fussing a bit, so I went ahead and nursed him so he would go back to sleep. Well, that's what he was supposed to do. Despite 20 minutes of milk and a tired collapse onto my arm at the end, he threw his Lolly out of his crib and began crying to wake up not long after I left the room. I am discouraged on mornings like these. I feel like, "Okay God. I woke up crazy early to spend time with you. I feel like I am doing what you've asked of me. But it's not working. So tell me why I shouldn't just sleep in?" I don't want to wake up at 5:45am and still have a bad attitude. I'll just sleep to the last minute if that's what's going to happen (y'all remember the days of Miller routinely waking at 6am and going in his playpen and me back to bed). So I'm a bit frustrated today to have been up for an hour and have gotten nothing done but nursing him, listening to him cry, and typing this venting post. I haven't even had a cup of coffee! I guess this is just another example of life as the parent of small kids. So often they run the show.

One Year

2011-09-18T04:49:00.001-04:00

Sweet, sweet Miller. It's so hard for me to believe that you arrived one year ago early in the morning (or late at night as I felt, having never actually gone to sleep). Your Aunt Nicki and I were talking about your birth day and she remarked to me that you had "perfect timing." I have been thinking a lot about that. It seems like you did indeed have perfect timing. Not only for your birth, but for our lives. You were a surprise, sweet Milly. I'm sure you'll grow up hearing about how Daddy and I didn't expect you and weren't quite sure how we would deal with the rapid doubling of our children barely 19 months after we first became parents. But you, little one, fit so well. It's been one year since you and Mommy shared our first moments together. Yet I honestly have trouble recalling life before you. It's like I know no other way.

You are beautiful, Miller. You're smart, you're funny, you're full of life. You don't fear anything. You are a lover. You're friendly, you're content in that you're down for anything and rarely fussy. But you go for it, dude- whether it's trying to climb in the tub or take one of Holder's toys. You've always seemed very sure of yourself and your abilities.

You're never afraid to show how you feel- be it mad or glad. There is no guessing with your emotions. If you're mad, everyone hears about it. But more often than not, you're happy. Waving and saying, "Hiiiy!" to everyone in sight. You are so loving, my sweet baby. Every single night there's a point when you nurse that you sit up, look directly into my eyes for a few seconds, then lean over and kiss me on the lips. I will never forget those moments in the dark, just you and Mommy face to face. It seems like we're looking silently into each other's hearts.

I've watched you grow from tiny, content, quiet, sleepy baby into active, inquisitive, smiling, playful toddler (I can't believe you're technically a toddler. You're far too little for that!). You're learning so much, doing so many things, growing so fast. My prayers for you are many, Milly. I pray you know Jesus soon and deeply. I pray that your fearlessness extends onto your path with God- that you're never afraid to take a stand for Him. I pray your friends are many (and I suspect they will be), and that they're good to you and for you and you to them. I pray your enthusiasm always is directed towards positive things and things you love. I pray you're close with your brother. That you know how much Daddy and I, and so many other people, love you and want the best for you. That you know Jesus loves you even more than the rest of us put together. That God created you and He blessed us specifically with you. We didn't plan to have you a year ago, Miller, but God had always planned for you. And I believe He has big things in store for you, baby doll. I can't wait to see what those things are.

You're going to do a lot this year, Mills. Some of those things might include tantrums and sitting on the time out bench, but will also include lots of laughter, kisses, and new experiences. You're going to walk, you might even talk, and you will hopefully get more than two teeth! Mommy will be here with you every step of the way, cheering you on. I know you are capable of so much, love. I look back on these pictures of you on your birth day, knowing now all the things that your first year brought, and I can't wait to see what one holds in store for you, Miller. You are so special to me and I love you so, so much.

PS- if anyone wonders what a home birth is like, please witness this picture of me in bed, chillin' with a banana, silently thinking, "Did I really just give birth to a baby in the dining room while my 19-month-old slept?"

Whew!

2011-09-17T20:12:00.004-04:00

The tent is up, the games are ready, the outfits are made. The vendors are lined up, the schedules are coordinated. Medicine has been taken, noses aren't as runny. Banners are hung, chairs have been rented, RSVPs have been received. Miller's first birthday party is tomorrow afternoon.

I don't think I put this much work into my wedding (I did have a wedding planner and all).

I'm off to make some final signs, eat BBQ for dinner, and go to bed. Miller's Carnival rolls into town tomorrow for one afternoon only!

The big day before the big day

2011-09-17T06:36:00.004-04:00

Have I ever told y'all that one of my close friends from high school is married to one of Dave's pledges from Theta Chi? Well, they are. And I'm sure by now everyone knows that my best friend and Dave's best friend introduced us (they are married, were dating when they introduced us). She and I were pledge sisters and Dave and Woody were pledge brothers. Have I also ever mentioned that I have known all of Dave's friends longer than I have known him? I actually even went on date with another one of Dave's pledges (who happened to be roommates with the dude who ended up married to my hs friend) a few years before Dave and I met. He wasn't very gentlemanly on our date, so the look on his face years later when he realized Dave and I were dating was priceless. (*Sarah, do you remember that night?!?) So goes Greek life at UF, I guess.

A school of 50,000 plus becomes a lot smaller when you're Greek. That's actually one of the "selling points" of Recruitment's Round 1. A lot of people in my life now tease me for my love of all things Gators. For the way I threw a little fit that I had to sell my Tennessee tickets this year because my MIL and BIL came down for Miller's party so Dave and I couldn't go to the game. The way I have woven football helmets and framed Sport Illustrated covers into our living room decor. How many orange clothing items I have even though I actually don't like the color orange. The way I tear up at those commercials that say, "The University of Florida- The Foundation for the Gator Nation."

But you know what? The University of Florida was my foundation. It was actually a big part of the foundation for the rest of my life. I don't know who I would be without UF or what my life would look like. Would I have ever even met Dave? I'm not sure how. Would I have friends who have been a consistent part of my life for 12+ years? If you don't have a friend you can be totally yourself around and not worry they're going to drop you, you don't know the value of a friendship like that. Would I know how to drink a fifth of Jack Daniels and still be able to walk in a straight line? Well, take that last one out, considering the last time I tasted Jack I almost threw up. In any case, you can tease me all you want to about the Gators- call me mildly obsessed even. I can take it. But for goodness sake's don't you dare root for Tennessee today.

And to the dude sitting in section 32, row 46, near the "Work 'Em Silly, Gators!" sign: Enjoy those seats today, buddy. Thanks for paying for the tent for my baby's 1st bday party tomorrow. But you need to find other tickets for the Alabama game. Momma's going to that one!

SUYL- Favorite Devotionals

2011-09-16T20:31:00.004-04:00

Today at Kelly's Korner the Show Us Your Life topic is favorite devotionals. I will admit to being somewhat of a devotional hopper. I get very excited about the idea of starting something new, getting a brand new book and workbook and digging in. But I usually don't make it past a certain point. I mean, I was the girl who liked buying college textbooks (it helps when your scholarship pays for them, so it's not like I was buying them with "real" money that could have gone to truly important things like date function t-shirts and Dior handbags off eBay). It's not that I am necessarily lacking in my quiet time- I am fairly consistant about that. But sometimes I start a Bible study of devotional and just slack off after a bit. However, there have been two that I have not only completed, but really relished.

The first was a study I did with a group of women from my church called Wisdom for Mothers. It was the first study I did since becoming a mom, the summer after Holder was born. It was also this study that brought me and Dave back to our church after a year or so attending elsewhere. I believe, of course, that was all God's work. But back to the study.

It's one of those studies where you have five days of homework and then meet in a small group to watch a video and then have group discussion. I was blessed to attend this study as it was led by Katie, who blogs at Living Devotionally. This girl loves Jesus and keeps it real. I have fond memories of meeting other mothers, reconnecting with old friends, and sharing about honest mothering struggles for the first time. I wasn't a lonely mom before this study, but I definitely made new friendships through it and gained a greater understanding of my godly role as a mother through the course of that summer. I don't know if I have ever really written a full blog post about how becoming a mother totally rocked my world and turned my spirituality upside down; I really became a totally different person in a lot of ways after Holder was born. I feel like this study helped guide that process and really set me on a course for that change.

Fast forward a year or so and a friend from MOPS told me I would really like one of the devotionals that was kind of suggested by MOPS that year, called Out of the Spin Cycle. I am not exaggerating when I tell you I have never, never, never loved reading a devotional more than this one.

In the course of studying this book, I have cried so many tears, laughed out loud (loudly, and at 6am, which is a feat!) so many times, been so deeply convicted, and learned so much about the real person Jesus is. This devotional has taken the experience of young motherhood and used it to reveal so much to me about Jesus, about what he taught and believed, and who I am supposed to be as a mother and as a Christian. It makes connections I would never have thought of, exposed parts of me I didn't want to look at, and just made me think, "Oh! I am SO glad I am not the only one!" so many times I can't even explain it. I am utterly convinced that God desperately wanted me to study this devotional, and in some ways had Jen Hatmaker write it just for people like me. She's hilarious, she's thought provoking and she loves Jesus. Get this book and delve into it- you will read it more than once!

Off my game

2011-09-15T10:21:00.003-04:00

I have been so off my game the past few weeks. Maybe it's because, until last night, Dave and I have been up three or four times a night with Miller, who has had a persistent cough for more than two weeks. After two trips to the doctor, he finally went on antibiotics on Tuesday, even though there was nothing "wrong" with him (i.e. no ear infection, lungs clear). Basically, this was a last-ditch effort to clear his cough and runny nose before his big party on Sunday. Did I mention that Miller, King of the Sensitive Gag Reflex, has also been puking every day for two weeks? Not stomach bug puking, just teething with a lot of extra spit plus mucus from his cough makes him throw up puking? Ugh! Dave and I have become so good at catching puke in our hands, changing a baby and crib sheets and starting laundry at 3am it's sad. Ten years ago I lived in my sorority house, so you'd think I'd be used to being surrounded by puke at 3am, but somehow it's a lot grosser now.

In any case, even in the absence of anything suggesting a real bacterial infection, the antibiotics seem to be doing their job because last night Miller slept well and so far today he has only coughed a few times and hasn't needed his nose wiped but once. I'm praying he will continue to improve and by Sunday will be good as new. I am also praying that the sore throat I woke up with this morning and the runny nose Holder now has will pass quickly and not develop into anything. I am also praying that Miller's gag reflex will calm down a bit. I feel awful for him puking all the time, even though it doesn't seem to bother him. I don't like taking him places and people thinking he has a stomach bug, when it's really just him. We've talked to the doctor about this several times and they continue to say it's just a sensitive stomach/gag reflex and that he'll grow out of it. Of course, he's still tiny so he would need to actually grow before he can grow out of it! He's not gained any weight since he was 9 months old. I'm so stressed out about his growth, but that's a post for another time. Let's just say we have a lot to talk to Dr. Lewis about at Miller's one-year well check next week!

In the meantime, I feel like I am barely keeping everything together. We're playing and happy and the laundry is done (if not folded) and we eat dinner (and only Miller throws his up), and everything is progressing on, but I have just been all over the place these past few weeks, trying to get everything done and keep my kids happy and deal with the other things of life. I feel like my head is spinning. It's really caused me to do a lot of thinking about how I want our lives and family to look and what we need to simplify and prioritize to make that vision happen. But that's also a post for another time. I am looking forward to Miller's party and my in-law visit being over and hopefully everyone getting over this latest bout of illness (Miller's cough started right after Dave and I had a stomach bug so it's just like one thing after another) and life returning to somewhat normal. With young kids I'm just not sure if life ever really calms down though!!!

By the way, what does everyone think about this Missoni craziness? Things are sold out all over the place! I found one sweater dress I almost bought but I decided against it because the fabric was so cheap. Then I saw someone in my neighborhood whose style I do not admire walking down the street in that same dress and I thought, "Good call on not buying that, Aja." I think we're going to see a LOT of Missoni this fall!

It's birthday week!

2011-09-12T21:23:00.004-04:00

The balloon wreath is next to the front door. The laundry room has been taken over with carnival supplies. I have four or five random lists and papers floating around. It's birthday week on Camelia Lane!

I have so much to do to tie all the loose ends up for Miller's big carnival bash on Sunday afternoon and I am already in a state of exhaustion. My mom and I have been working so hard on all the arrangements for the party and, although there's much to be done, I have a lot of the big things under control. Well, except for a homemade birthday banner but I think that may be shooting too high. We'll know after tomorrow when I have a good friend coming over to powwow about the party plans. I think another perspective always helps to ensure nothing gets overlooked and this momma is as into her kids' birthday parties as I am so I really value her opinion. I've got a lot of work ahead of me the next few days but I'm really looking forward to throwing Miller a great party. He is so social I think he will love being the center of attention! He's already obsessed with his party hat, so that's one good sign.

As if I needed another thing to do this week Missoni for Target launches tomorrow morning. Rumor has it these items will fllyyyyy off the shelves. I have mixed emotions about this because I have loved Missoni for years (a "Missoni-type dress to match my brown ruched boots" was on my past two Christmas lists), so I am super, super excited for some of the items at a price point I can actually take advantage of. But I don't want to be rocking all this Missoni only to have every other chick in America wearing my same striped rainboots. That's tacky. So I'm almost afraid to buy anything. Maybe in old Volusia County no one will care about Missoni... at least until after next week. Is that too much to hope for or do I need to drag my kids down to Target at 7am?!? Decisions, decisions.

Welcome to the opposite of heaven...

2011-09-06T20:40:00.003-04:00

This was a rough weekend in our house. And, of course, a rough weekend in our house happens to be a long weekend, thereby stretching the misery out for an extra day or two. I honestly am too exhausted to go into details, but I'll give them to you in short form.

stomach flu (me, Dave, and possibly Miller)

way too much TV (Holder)

frantic 2am calls to my mom because I can't stop throwing up and Miller is crying and Dave is in the other bathroom sick and can she please come over to take care of the babies because I cannot

sharp words

complaints

tears

budget discussions (Dave and I both hate budgeting ps, so these discussions are never fun and barely fruitful)

uncomfortable conversations with people we feel like we know and don't know at the same time

pinkeye (Miller)

after hours clinic (me and Miller)

It was the pits. All I know is tomorrow is a new day. It has to be.

11 months

2011-08-31T07:02:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe that in a few short weeks little baby Milly will be a year old! He is so small that he doesn't seem nearly as old as he is. Bless his heart, he's like a little baby doll- I am always amazed by the things he is capable of and have to remind myself of how old he is. Compared to Holder he just seems so small so I don't give him enough credit.

Miller weighs around 18.11 pounds. He wears size 6-12 month clothes, 9 month onesies, john johns and bubbles, and wears some 12 month but mostly 9 month PJs. He's in size 3 diapers and his shoe is 3 1/2 W. I actually put him in a 3-6 month rash guard and 6 month swimsuit last weekend and they fit well. He's such a peanut!

Miller has been busy this month. Dave and I have been more intentional about reading Miller books and he is really responding. He is showing a lot of interest in books and will ask to read them. His favorites remain the large Priddy word books and any book with Elmo and the Sesame Street gang. He loves to look at pictures of teddy bears too and will kiss the pictures and make a sweet little "ooohh" sound. He does the same to Hans and any other dog, and thinks that "gentle" means kiss. Sweet boy. Miller also routinely kisses other babies, his friend Micah, me and Dave and Holder. He's a lover.

Miller has learned to wave and is constantly looking around waving at people and saying, "Hi!" It's all we can do to even get him to eat Wednesday nights at church because he is so busy waving and calling people over to talk to him. All the older folks joke that he will be a preacher. Besides "hi" Miller's only other consistent and purposeful word is "Ma ma," which he says all day long. :) I do think he is also working on "Nina" because he often says "na na na" when my mom is around and doesn't really say it any other time.

This month Miller began walking with his walker toy really well- and fast! He also started creeping and will pull up on something but then stand on his own for up to a minute or so at a time. He also holds toys, teethers, etc while standing on his own. Today for the first time, he nearly stood up all by himself without pulling up first. While I don't think he'll be walking at his first birthday, I don't think it will be long after that. He would probably already be walking if he didn't love crawling so much and if he wasn't always being held!

In big news, this month Miller's first teeth came in! His bottom two teeth are in full force but I haven't gotten a picture of them yet. I thought I would be sad, but they're so tiny you can hardly see them and he just looks cuter with teeth! I just am sure there has never been a more handsome baby born than Miller Nicholson. He is like, tragically cute.

Other firsts for Miller this month included juice (he hated it), pointing (so sweet), moving into the big boy tub (we're still working on this transition as Miller is a wild thing in the bathtub and also likes to stand up which makes me fear for his life because I think he's going to drown). Also big for Miller this month was the transition to one nap a day. This was a very smooth transition- he fought his morning nap for several days and if he went down would only sleep for about 15 or 30 minutes. If he took one nap it was 2.5 to 4 hours, so we went with that. There was very little flip flopping between naps or fussiness. He simply went down for his nap an hour or so earlier than usual (12pm vs. 1:30) and we haven't looked back since. It's actually much more convenient for getting things done, as now we're back to the schedule we had before Miller was born, when we leave the house right after breakfast for playdates or errands and come home around 11am or so for lunch and naps.

Miller's favorite things are his Lolly, his Nuker, pasta with red sauce, macaroni and cheese and strawberries, playing chase, playing ball or peek a book with Holder, giving kisses, teddy bears, turning the pages of books (this is one of the few activities that will keep him still for 20+ minutes, and he can turn the small, thin pages of older kid's books well), going to church (always the social butterfly), waving and saying "hi" and anything having to do with water, including drinking out of "big boy" cups.

Miller's least favorite things are juice, being told no, being in the playpen, getting strapped into his car seat, having things taken away from him (the phone, the remote, my glasses), and loud noises like a construction truck that's been on our street this week.

Miller is so happy and full of life. You can tell if he's mad because his stork bite on his forehead gets blazing red (you can't see it unless he's mad), and you can tell if he's happy because he generally always is. If you look at him, he smiles. If he's really happy, he squeals and smiles big. He doesn't laugh much unless something is really funny, or you know his very few and very particular ticklish spots. Miller is adventurous, fearless, and a bit mischievous. He is handsome, social and spunky. Up for anything and full of energy, he's always looking for fun. I honestly can't believe that a year ago I didn't know Miller yet. I don't remember life without him. I know I wasn't bored but I can't imagine how that was. He's added so much to our family and our lives and I love him immensely.

These Days

2011-08-30T07:18:00.002-04:00

I don't think I am stating any unknown fact when I say the days with two little ones at home are often long, tiring, frustrating, busy (oh, so busy), and draining. Being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever done. I hope I am intentional enough about taking all these moments in- the moments where these little boys are mine alone. No girls, no friends, no school, no in-laws or fraternity brothers. No sports teams or games, hobbies or computers. They want mommy all the time, and I want to look back and say I gave them everything I had, plus more I only got through Christ, and filled them up with love, encouragement, discipline, teachings, and kisses.

These days are filled with messes, with teething and crying. With screams of "Milly, don't take that!" Yes, with occasional time outs and lessons. With brothers tossing balls down the hallway and frantic searches for Lollies as we're running out the door. These days are full of me thinking and saying, "I just won't go" because of something related to the kids (no one to watch them, I would be gone too long, it wouldn't fit with their schedule). I repeat the same things over and over hoping they'll sink in- kind hands, sharing, gentle with the dog, we're a family, Jesus loves you even more than Mommy does, vegetables help you have energy and make you grow big and strong, on and on. Sometimes it seems like they're all in vain and all my work at the end of the day produces no fruit. The kids are grumpy, I am frustrated, we're all tired, Holder only ate eggs for dinner, refusing asparagus (which he normally loves) and pasta (which he also likes if he ever takes the first bite). Miller wakes up every 30 minutes crying because of his teeth (he is finally getting some!), and I look back at the day and see nothing but my failures.

These days are the foundations. Of two lives. Of a family that was half this size 31 months ago. Of a selfish, immature little girl asking Christ to make her into a selfless, Biblical mother. These are the foundations of whoever these little boys will become, how they will treat people in their lives, what they will feel about their own worth and purpose in this world. These days lay the foundation for what they'll think about God, themselves, marriage, family, priorities, kindness, nature, relationships. These days are worth their difficulty. Worth never going to the bathroom alone. Worth not knowing when I'll have time to take a shower today. These days are worth the endless repeating of rules, saying, reminders, cooking various meals for picky palettes. These are the days.

If you read it on Facebook, chances are I don't want to hear about it

2011-08-27T18:21:00.002-04:00

I gave Facebook up a while ago. Why? Because I don't like how it makes me feel. The things people post sometimes make me mad, annoy me, sadden me, enrage me, so on and so forth. Facebook is not good, in my opinion, for much. And I am certain it is not good at all for me. So chances are if you read something on Facebook that annoys you, makes you mad, etc. it would do the same to me. So please, as my friend, think long and hard before you share it with me. Those very status updates are the reason I don't have Facebook anymore. I think people showboat on there, I think people are obnoxious on there, and I think people exaggerate on there. I don't want to know about it. Call it blissful ignorance, or whatever you'd like. I just don't want to know. And if you don't either, I suggest clicking the deactivate button. It's honestly easier than you think it will be.

Friday Fun

2011-08-27T09:12:00.002-04:00

Yesterday some fun little things happened.

My Erin Condren planner arrived via Fed Ex! I had about 30 minutes after it arrived while Miller finished napping to begin using it. So far I have mostly positive things to say, and a few things I would change. I'll do a more detailed post on my thoughts about this planner sometime this week. I will say I LOVE that you can put a picture on the cover for free. I just love this picture of the boys (obviously, since it's in my blog header too) and it makes me smile whenever I look at my planner. I know by the end of 2012 they will both look so different, but I want to remember these days when they're babies.

Can I also say that I only put my name on it because, although I keep track of appointments for the kids and stuff too, it's my planner. I don't understand why people put "The West Family- Dave, Aja, Holder and Miller" on the cover of their planners. I just think that's weird, but to each their own.

For about a week I have gathered the supplies and used nap time and bedtime to make this little lovely- a birthday balloon wreath! I love, love, love the way it turned out! Many of my friends have made these for their houses and I am so glad I decided to make one too. It's so pretty and I can't wait to hang it outside for each of my kid's birthdays! I really think this is something I will use for years and years to come. It took about 300-400 balloons because I packed them pretty tightly. It only took a few hours of real time to put together. You can find instructions to make your own here.

"My Nina"

2011-08-26T13:08:00.002-04:00

Today Holder said:

"I want my Nina to come today. I miss her. Her is my bestie."

We all feel so blessed to have Nina in our lives- for the way she loves us, for the time she spends with us, and all the things she does for and with us. I don't tell Holder that Nina is my bestie too.

Learning to walk

2011-08-25T06:03:00.003-04:00

Excuse my horribly grating voice. It's so bad. Little Milly isn't as into learning how to walk as Holder was. He loves to crawl. But he's getting there and is more interested in his walker toy and creeping around the furniture every day. I seriously doubt he'll be walking for his first birthday (in three weeks!), which is new for me. Holder was walking all over the house at his party. Miller is "talking" up a storm but his only true words are "ma ma" and "hi" which is his new one this week. It's fitting that someone as social as Miller would learn to say hi quickly. He does that, along with wave, at everyone who passes him. Milly has never met a stranger. Sweet thing. More on Miller in his 11-month post, up soon!

It's not all about you!

2011-08-23T10:30:00.002-04:00

It's not all about you!

I have found myself saying that to Holder recently. Everything is about him. And of course it is- he's 2 1/2. His world revolves around, well, him. If I am cutting food for Miller and Holder wants great granddaddy T-Rex (yes, we have so many T-Rex that live with us that they are known by "name" defined by their size), he'll just keep repeating his need over and over, louder and louder, until it's either met or I've explained why it can't be immediately met. In the case of the latter, he usually whines and then, depending on how tired or flustered I am at the moment, I might say the above sentence.

It's hard being human, isn't it?

I, for one, get where he's coming from because I am a very selfish person by nature. Maybe we all are, but I wallowed in selfishness for a long, long time. I am an only child and never had to share anything- not a bathroom, not a toy, not my parent's time or attention. I was also an only grandchild and got all the perks of that too. It's not like my parents didn't teach me to share, or they encouraged selfishness- they didn't. It's just not something I ever had a lot of practice with. I had friendships and things like that, but for the most part, I called a lot of the shots in my own life. Even, I would probably say, after I was married. I decided where we would live, what we would do, and how we would do it. It was all about Aja you could say.

That's still my tendency in many ways. Recently, Dave and I have gotten news about good friends of ours that has left us reeling. Our friends received something (a lot of something) that seems totally undue them. It left us thinking, "What are we doing wrong that we didn't get that?" It's hard to go into detail about but it has definitely exposed to us our own and our collective issues with selfishness and jealousy. I have spent more hours thinking about this than I ever should, and I continue to dwell on the situation on occasion. It's funny how quickly the things of this world can consume our hearts and minds. Anyway, I was thinking about it recently again and had the thought, "I'll probably never have X and I wonder why. I wonder if it's because God thinks I don't deserve it or if I'm doing something wrong." (Aside: I realize that's not exactly how God works, but that's just the thought that came to my mind) Then I thought,

"It might not even be about me."

Go with me for a minute- maybe this will seem so simple to ya'll but to me it totally hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe I'll never have X (or Y or Z) because it's not what's best for my kids, or because it's not what's best for my marriage. Maybe it's not even any of those things- maybe it's just the way the cookie crumbles, or life isn't fair, or something simple like that. But maybe it really is God's hand on my life- even indirectly- because my life affects other people's lives and vice versa. Maybe not getting the promotion, or the big house or whatever X happens to be isn't best for someone I am deeply connected with. Does that make sense at all? I would love to live in a big house- like much bigger than the 1,900 square feet the Wests are working with these days. But maybe the big house would mean that Holder and Miller wouldn't have to share a room (which they will if we have a third child) and maybe them sharing a room will result in them growing up to live in the same town and having a really tight bond. Maybe these things that happen today- or don't happen today- really are not what's best for me necessarily, but what's best for someone else. And, Lord knows- truly, that I would gladly live in this 1,900 square foot house forever and ever if it meant my children grow up unscathed and close. Maybe X doesn't have much to do with me. I am just playing a supporting role in God's blessing on someone else. And He knows that what's best for that someone else- maybe my kids or Dave- is really what I would choose anyway if I could see the big picture.

It's not all about me. It sounds so simple, doesn't it? But, like Holder, I have to be continually reminded of that basic fact.

Random-ness

2011-08-20T13:30:00.004-04:00

I haven't been blogging much because the past few weeks have just been so crazy and I can't get together full paragraphs lately. But it's been too quiet around here (well, not around my house, since Holder never quits talking and Miller never quits moving- but around the blog), so here are some random thoughts:

- The blogosphere is abuzz with people talking about their Erin Condren Life Planners. They're not cheap, but I have felt so scattered lately that I took the plunge and ordered one. It should arrive this coming week and I am so excited I can hardly stand it! I have always been a huge planner junky- I even saved mine from senior year of high school in my memory box. I used my iPhone calendar right now but it's not cutting it and scraps of paper are unreliable for me. Looking forward to getting back to my planner-junky roots.

- Miller is transitioning to one nap a day. It's gone well for the most part- a full night's sleep plus a three hour or longer afternoon nap is heaven for this momma. But on days like today when he falls asleep in the car after lunch and then refuses to stay asleep when we come home, we're left to deal with a tired and unhappy Milly who won't go to back to sleep for a nap. Sigh.

- I have finally purchased all the supplies to make Miller's bday invitations so that's my goal for this weekend. I want to get those bad boys in the mail ASAP because football season is fast approaching and calendars are filling up! I also bought all the things to make his balloon wreath with and I will be tackling that project soon.

- Here in Central Florida, kids are headed back to school this week. I know this might sound bad, but can I say- yippee! I am so looking forward to less crowded splash pads, playgrounds, zoos, water parks etc. It's just much more preschooler and toddler friendly when the big guys are in school all day. We've spent much of the summer inside because of the heat and the crowds. I am excited for all our fun fall plans of playdates, special trips, Disney, holiday activities, and more.

- Speaking of school, I have gotten a LOT of opinions from friends about putting Holder in some type of preschool or Mother's Day Out program. I don't mind most people telling me it would be good for him, I would have more time to devote to Miller, etc. etc, but that is something Dave and I have decided not to do at this point. We'll revisit the topic next summer but for now, home with Mommy is where Holder wants to stay and where we feel he belongs right now. But, if anyone knows a good Mother's Day Out program for an 11-month-old who's teething and dropping a nap and likes to throw little temper tantrums, please let me know! Kidding! Kind of.

- And speaking of individualized time for each child, I am trying to institute a few changes around here in terms of that. With Miller not napping most mornings, I have to do things a bit differently to satisfy the attention each child needs. So Miller now has to spend some time in his playpen each day while Holder and I read books, do stickers, or some other project of his choosing. You can guess how happy Miller is about that (honestly, he would actually be happier going to a Mother's Day Out program where he had other babies to play with. He is beyond social and loves to be around other babies.) Holder on the other hand, typically watches TV while I spend some alone time with Miller, reading to him or playing with him 1-on-1. I have been having a really difficult time lately balancing the needs and wants of these two boys. Although they're close in age, there's a million miles between them right now. Holder doesn't understand why he must use "kind hands" with Miller even when he's frustrated but Miller hits him (not that I allow that, but Miller obviously can't process "kind hands"- even though I say it so he'll learn- or be put in a time out. And Miller doesn't understand why he can't participate in coloring or flashcard time, even though he just eats the flashcards. He wants to be big so badly and hates that he can't always do exactly what Holder does. Ugh. I have ended up in tears more than once feeling like I'm failing both of them. But I know this too shall pass and things will eventually work out. For right now I just do the best I can and do a lot of praying!

- Football season is mere weeks away. Miami may get the death penalty. The Wests have season tickets. FL State fans have beat us once in the last four years and are already mouthy about this year's game. I bought a new orange beaded necklace and Dave's ordered our seat cushions to be installed. We're so ready.

- Someone asked me yesterday if I was pregnant yet. Hopefully it wasn't because I have a two-babies-in-two year pooch and instead was because I was pregnant with Miller by the time Holder was the age Miller is now. That made sense, right? But no, I am not pregnant and we're making sure I won't be for a bit yet. I always said I was taking 2011 off. We'll keep you posted in 2012. Who wants to get on my hyperemesis babysitting list now?

- When I was in college my friends and I all took notes with Sharpie fine point markers. It meant we each had to use a "bleed through" page between real pages because those weren't exactly supposed to be used as pens. Did you know that now that make Sharpie pens that don't bleed through? They're just like the regular Sharpies though- perfection! I bought some this week and can't wait to use them in my new planner. Add this to the list of things they didn't have when I was in college, along with texting, cable modems, and Facebook.

Milly's Song

2011-08-17T13:35:00.005-04:00

****Updated- you should be able to see the video now****

Remember Miller's song?

Miller Man, Mr. Mills,

Little Baby Milly,

You're so cute

You're so small.

You're a little silly.

You're a special little boy,

And do you know what?

I love you so very much

My little peanut.

Here's the best performance of it I've ever heard.

Check yo' self, Momma!

2011-08-08T20:36:00.003-04:00

My kids keep me on my toes for sure! Miller because he is usually busy and into everything, and Holder because he is at the age where he is constantly paying attention to everything I say and do and he picks up on everything!

Today we took Miller to the doctor's office for some catch-up immunizations. Holder is kind of used to going to Petco as a reward for good behavior at the doctor's office, specifically after check-ups, which I guess he equated this trip with. He behaved well at the doctors, so he was all abuzz about "maybe we'll go to Petco." I was trying to tell him that wasn't going to work out because we had a new cleaning lady at our house who didn't have a key so we needed to get back, and Milly was tired etc., etc. But of course Holder wasn't trying to hear that and just kept on and on. After waiting in the exam room for about 20 minutes for the doctor to sign off on the shots, Miller crying, and Holder running a bit wild as we were getting in the car, I was a little frazzled. As I got into the car, Holder's first words to me were, "Mommy, are you happy?"

Cue a brief explanation of yes, Mommy is happy but just a little hot and frazzled from trying to check out of the doctor's office and get everyone safely in the car and happy for the ride home. Holder: "Well, maybe we should just go to Petco." Another brief explanation that I wish I could say yes to Petco but today it's just not going to work out since we have to get home to meet Ms. Kim, eat lunch and get Milly a nap.

Holder (in a very concerned voice): "Mommy, don't you like Petco?"

He's barely 2 1/2! What kind of negotiating skills are these? Aren't kids his age just supposed to talk about Elmo or Mickey or be learning how to count to 10, not grilling their mothers about her feelings or preference? Most days I am simultaneously exhausted and amazed by him.

Becoming a man

2011-08-05T09:27:00.003-04:00

I have felt blessed that most of my close friends had kids at the same time I did. Two of my besties had babies two weeks after Holder was born, and those same friends also recently had their second children. And a friend I have grown much closer to this past year has a baby only weeks younger than Miller (that baby also happens to be Milly's BFF, and why not? They're together enough to practically be family). Over the years, it's been interesting to see the kids growing up together, and one of the things that has interested me the most is the innate differences between boys and girls. These things just are. Not saying that no boy likes playing with baby dolls- there is a boy in Holder's Sunday School class who loves playing with purses, although he also has an affinity for playing pretend guns- but in general, boys avoid the kitchen/baby doll toys and girls ignore the trucks/trains.

To this end of "manly" tendencies, I think it's funny how interested Holder has become in directions lately. Whenever we're in the car he goes through a list of questions about where things are.

"Where's church?"

"Where's Sam's house?"

"Where's the little farm we went to?"

And the thing is, he's learning directions too! He'll point and say, "Petco is way down there, Mommy! And the Dinosaur Exhibit is way, way down there!"

The list of direction questions is growing longer, but at least right now he's still asking! So he has a ways to go before becoming a true man, right? ;)

It's barely 8 am...

2011-08-03T08:08:00.001-04:00

And already Holder has said, in a whiny voice:

"I have nothing to do today. Nothing at all!"

"Mommy, don't vacuum near my dinosaurs!"

"This book is...TERRIBLE!"

Two and a half is fun.

A few days in the life of Miller...

2011-08-01T10:18:00.005-04:00

I parent two children who are in many ways completely different. It's interesting mothering and loving two boys who are so uniquely individual. What works with one seems not to work with the other, and what one likes the other tends not to, so they keep me on my toes for sure. Right now the way this is most apparent is how Miller gets into EVERYTHING! I have always told stories of having playdates where friends would be picking things up and moving things around so their children didn't break something or chew on a tube of Orajel. Those were just things I never had to think about with Holder. So Miller is a totally new experience for me. I spend most of his awake time chasing him around keeping him out of some type of dangerous experience, or re-directing him to something safe. I hate putting babies in playpens or really restricting them, so I rarely use a gate or playpen, and just try my best to keep up with his busy-ness. But to really illustrate it, I thought I would share with you a few pictures of Miller's adventures taken over a two or three day span. I bet you'll be tired just thinking about these!

Miller in the dog food and water.

Pulling up on the dishwasher.

A happy dance.

"Mommy, don't let Milly get my dinosaurs!"

Miller after being told he can only have a few dinosaurs.

Pulling up on my glass mixing bowls (one finally got broken today- no one got hurt but we're doing some rearranging during naptime today).

More adventures with dog food. We keep this door mostly closed now except during nap or meal times.

Climbing up the slide. I think Holder was 26 months before he could do this. Miller is barely 10 months in this picture.

Calling Daddy but not allowed to hold the phone. Miller is telling Mommy he's not happy about that.

I was cleaning dishes and turned around to find Miller happily wedged between the refrigerator and the wall. Seriously?!?

But with a face as cute as that, it's tough to stay mad at him for long. That's the scary part! Miller has an adventurous heart for sure. Lord, please use that to do great things, and spare me a heart attack in the process!

Miller at 10 months

2011-07-27T10:54:00.007-04:00

Milly is 10 months old! This child has a personality that will not stop! He is a handful for sure, although most people tell me he is just a little more typical of a baby than Holder was. Holder has a pretty calm, shy personality and Miller is neither of those things! He's not hyper, but he's very busy and gets into everything. Ev-er-y-thing! He is full of fun.

Recently, he and Holder have started to really play together. Today Holder threw a ball all over the house and Miller chased it for about 30 minutes. They were both smiling and laughing and I cried as I watched them. When I was pregnant with Miller, I was so worried about the dynamics of our family changing, and sometimes I still worry if the boys each get enough attention or how things would be different if I only had one, but in moments like these I am overflowing with praise for God's perfect timing. I sometimes wonder if Holder will have trouble making friends and then I am reminded that he will always have a brother, not just a brother, but one who is very close in age to him and who looks up to him and wants to be involved with him. I am SO thankful that the Lord provided a built-in best friend (hopefully!) for my sweet, shy first born. I want them to always be close and always have each other's backs.

But back to this little spitfire who still likes to scrunch his nose up.

Miller weighs about 17 or so pounds (I haven't weighed him in awhile and I had to move his shot appointment to next week so I'll find out his weight then).

Wears:

Size 3 diapers

6-12 month clothes, 9 month PJs, onesies and john johns (although some bubbles are BIG!)

Size 3.5 wide shoes (Miller got new shoes this month- bigs!)

Miller's personality is revealing itself more and more everyday. He is definitely social, and loves people and being around activity. He hardly ever leaves Holder alone, and wants to do everything Holder does. At a birthday party recently, he was visibly annoyed that his friend Micah was held the entire time instead of put down to play. Miller kept pawing at Micah like, "Tell that chick to put you down and let's play!" Miller always wants to be doing what the crowd is doing, whether it's swimming, or playing with rocks, or walking around the dinosaur exhibit. I anticipate he will be my child who will go into a classroom and never look back to say goodbye to me.

One aspect of his social nature, I think, is his love for stuffed animals. He is very interested in them, loves to cuddle them, talk to them, and give them kisses. He sleeps with his Lolly and a panda bear every night, and has recently become interested in another teddy bear we have too. He will take a stuffed animal into his arms, hug it, then look at it and say, "Ahhh?" like, "What do you have to say to me, bear?" It's very cute. Here's Milly giving a kiss to the photo-op alligator. Sweet thing!

Miller is eating TONS lately! His favorite foods are mac and cheese, strawberries, bananas and yogurt. He is really good with his sippy cup lately, and had his first (sugar free) popsicle this month. Miller loves any lick of anything sweet I let him try so I'm thinking he's going to KILL his birthday cake in a few months! Then probably throw up. Bless his heart, he is a puker. Whenever he gets sick that's typically how the illness manifests. He just does not have a good stomach, poor thing.

Miller loves the water- put him in the big bath and he goes straight wild. Like, I'm worried he's going to drown wild. He'll be in the bath seat for awhile longer because his Momma's heart can't take a nightly big-bath-tub bath yet! He loves playing with balls and is starting to play with Hans and his toys too. Miller also likes books a lot more now. His favorites are Priddy books ABCs and also a book about colors. Miller can say "Ma ma," "Na na," and says, "Ahhh?" all the time, like a question. He loves to show you a toy or a book and say, "Ahhh?" Not sure if he wants you to tell him what it is or what. Recently he has also started to say, "Ha," which I think means Holder because when I ask him if that's what he means he smiles and chuckles. Mills knows lots of words and phrases, for example if you say, "Do you want to go to bed?" He'll start to fuss a certain way and make the sign for milk to tell you he is ready for bed. He'll also do the same when you ask if he's hungry, and usually crawl to his highchair.

Milly has moved to the crawler room in the church nursery, and is starting to creep pretty well. He crawls FAST, which is hilarious. I love to throw something he wants down the hall or something so that he will hurtle down the hall fast as can be and get it. It's hilarious. Miller is still a tough little thing, and is super strong. People are always making comments on his small size because of his friend Micah (who might be a future linebacker), but no one should be deceived by Miller's small stature. He's a brute, and can definitely hold his own- even wrestling Holder (always well supervised).

Although pretty easygoing most of the time, Miller can be a fiery little thing, and is never afraid to tell you when he's mad about something you do (like change his diaper, which he HATES!). The other day I wouldn't let him drink out of my cup after letting him several times and he had a full-scale meltdown that included balling his hands into fists, turning red faced, crying, then hitting my foot and pulling up on my legs and trying to bite my knee! His fit ended quickly, but I wonder how this little temper will play out when he's a toddler! I will honestly say I am worried! But I know that the same personality that manifests as a temper when he's mad can also help with confidence and emotional availability. You don't often have to wonder how Miller feels!

See what I mean?

We love you Milly! I can't imagine my life without you in it and I am so thankful for you!

It's only Wednesday?!?!

2011-07-20T10:15:00.004-04:00

We've had a pretty long week here. Dave has been gone (comes home very soon- yea!). We had big plans to go to the Dinosaur Exhibit on Tues, but Holder started fevering on Monday and got progressively worse throughout the day. By the time it was 6pm his fever was 102 and not responding to Tylenol. He laid around all day and looked so awful. He had no other symptoms besides the fever. I called the dr and gave him Motrin and a lukewarm bath. Twenty minutes later, boom- fever gone. It was nearly bedtime but he was running all over the house saying, "You wanna do stickers! You wanna do finger paint! You wanna go to Nina's! You wanna do cards!" I think he was so happy to finally feel well. He was so excited to do something and I felt bad for him that he was going to miss the Dinosaur Exhibit so I sent him over to Nina's with his thermometer and his medicine, just in case. He did fine and didn't fever again, but Nina said he didn't sleep well.

On Tues I went over to get him from Nina's after Miller's morning nap. By the time Milly and I got there, we all ate lunch and a very grumpy Holder asked to go to bed at 11:45am! I could tell he still didn't feel well. At this point he had no symptoms of being ill except acting tired and grumpy. I put him to bed then Miller and Nina and I played and Milly went to bed too. Nina and I both laid around and read magazines until the boys woke up. Holder seemed to feel better after his nap. He definitely needed the rest. Nina and I decided to brave the mall to get the boys fitted for new shoes. Maybe not the best idea but Holder has been complaining some of his shoes hurt him and Miller's shoes are all baby shoes with no grippers on the bottom. Now that he's pulling up and starting to stand and creep, those aren't working for him anymore. We made it through the mall, although some people in Stride Rite were staring at my crazy kids flinging themselves all over the place. I love how Holder acted too sick and/or tired to obey unless he was on the playground- then he was fine.

Today the boys woke up and Holder seems to feel fine. Probably because he hasn't done anything this week he is a bored mess! He has never done well staying in the house for several days at a time and this morning he was driving me crazy! I feel bad saying that, but I was having a rough morning and so was Holder. He was very whiny and didn't want Miller anywhere near him. Then he would go over to where Miller was playing, take the toy Miller had, and say, "You're playing with Milly." Umm, not exactly. So Holder spent a little time in his crib with a book to regroup. Miller went down for a nap and I'm trying to figure out how we're going to make it through to church tonight, or if I should even attempt church with these two by myself. I want to go to my Beth Moore study, but I'm not sure if I have the energy to get H&M all ready for water night and manage their behavior alone. Sigh. Here's hoping the last half of the week goes more smoothly than the first half!!!

That time of the month

2011-07-18T09:24:00.005-04:00

I debated about whether or not to post about this, because it's a bit embarrassing, but I feel like it's kind of too funny not to blog about. I think we all know that little ears are always listening and pick up on far more than we even realize. Which is why Dave and I stopped cursing when we had Holder and I have a serious policy about the TV my kids watch (like, I'm waaaaayyy strict even about kids' shows), the words they hear and the things we discuss in front of them. A balance must be struck- I realize when kids are older they can benefit from hearing their parents disagree and come to a solution in a healthy positive way- but for now I will fully admit I am that mother that wants to shield her kids from the world. It's silly, but I wish they could stay innocent babies forever and never be exposed to the disappointment, hurt, bad words, scary situations etc. of the world. I'm working on being a little less obsessed with that type of thing, but it's tough for me. Anyway, that's off-topic.

So back to the story. Kids are always listening. We know this. But the things they choose to pick up on and then use (in a fairly correct context) never cease to amaze me. Last week I was putting the kids and the bags in the car to go somewhere. I usually bring everything outside, carrying Miller and Holder walks. I put Miller in the car, turn it on, and put the bags in the car with Holder just walking around the sidewalk area where I can see him. On this particular day he was tramping through the flower bed Dave and I just planted, looking at the bird bath and the flowers. He accidentally stepped on some flowers and I told him to please watch where he was walking and not to step on Mommy's flowers. He stepped on them again, accidentally. I reminded him again. The third time he wasn't watching where he was going and he stepped on my flowers I was annoyed. I picked him up and carried him to the car, fussing at him and saying, "I asked you three times to be careful and watch where you were stepping so you didn't step on Mommy's flowers. Now I am frustrated that you stepped on them and I want you to get in the car right now."

Holder looked at me and said, "Mommy has her period."

Seriously??!?!?!

I couldn't believe it! Especially because I did not have my period. Then a day or so later he asked me to carry him but my sciatica was acting up so I told him my back hurt right then and could he please walk? He said again, "Mommy has her period."

That was pretty bad, right?

Well yesterday Holder threw a little fit about something. His fits aren't very bad, but he ran away from Dave saying, "Nooooo!" I think maybe Dave was asking him to share a toy with Milly or let Milly play with one of Holder's dinosaurs when Holder and Dave were reading. So Holder ran away and Dave said, "Holder, come talk to Daddy." And Holder ran into the laundry room saying,

"No, no! You just wanna go in here and have a little period like Mommy."

Of all the things he could pick up on! In thinking about where this came from Dave and I realized that last month I was being snappy with Dave and I did say, "Look, I'm sorry but I don't feel good. I have my period and I am just in a bad mood." But to think saying that one time and now Holder thinks that whenever he or I are frustrated we're having our period is just too much. So to all those people who may get told I am having my period on any given day, or that my 2 1/2 year old son is having his period, I am sorry for the TMI and somewhat inappropriate description of feelings we're using in our house. At least he's not saying he's pi$$ed off!

Week in the Life- Day Seven

2011-07-17T20:31:00.002-04:00

Today I actually woke up before my kids! I woke at 7:15am, got up and typed a blog post (yesterday's Week in the Life), and made coffee and by 7:30pm Holder was talking in his crib and Dave was waking up. We got breakfast (pink pancakes with beet) started for Holder and I got into the shower.

Little Milly woke up a bit after 8am, I tried to nurse him which he wasn't really into, and I pumped. We put Miller in his highchair with breakfast (pancakes and banana) and wheeled him into our bedroom so Dave or I could watch him eat while we got ready. Holder was already finished with breakfast and playing by this time. We made it out the door to church late and arrived about 9:15am (first service starts at 9, but luckily our Sunday School class is always running late because everyone likes to visit and everyone has young kids). We had SS then Dave went to big church and I taught the 2-year-olds class in the nursery. It was actually a really good day. I did a hand print craft with them which was so-so and also did a demonstration of their Bible story (Naaman in 2 Samuel who was cured from leprosy by God through Elisha by dunking himself in the Jordan River 7 times) with a dirty baby doll and a bowl of water. The kids really liked that and took turns dunking the baby while we counted and reiterated the story and washed the baby. It is sweet to see the Bible stories making their way into the kids' heads through something they can understand. I served with a sweet woman named Lisa and we had a good morning.

After church we grabbed some to-go lunch, came home and ate and put Holder down for a nap while Miller (who slept a bit in the nursery and a bit on the way home) played for an hour or so. He nursed and then I left about 2pm to run some errands (Kohls, Target, gas up my car and the grocery store). Dave stayed with the kids and put Miller down for a nap. I got home at 3:30pm and watched my first TV show in about a week. The kids woke up about 4:15pm, we played and I showed Holder the dinosaur flashcards I found at Target's Dollar Spot. I also found a dinosaur flip book and also a flip book about breeds of dogs, which he will like too. I love the Dollar Spot! Around 5pm I started making dinner. At 5:30pm the boys were hungry and restless, so we gave them strawberries while dinner finished cooking, then we all sat down and ate salad, crescent roll lasagna and garlic break. After dinner we played outside (the mosquitoes were SO bad! The boys wore natural mosquito spray but I didn't and I got bit about 10 times in 5 minutes), then came in and put them in the bath. Dave did the bath while I did some laundry, then I got Holder into PJs and Dave got Miller into PJs. I put Miller to bed and Holder watched Dinosaur Train while Dave cleaned up the kitchen and packed. I read Holder a book in my bed then Dave read to him some and put him to bed while I came out here and wrote this post. Now I am going to straighten up the kitchen table, wash my face and get into PJs and watch some TV! Better go to bed early because this week is going to be a long one!

Week in the Life- Day Six

2011-07-16T23:28:00.002-04:00

Today began at 5am when Miller woke up to nurse. He went right back to sleep and so did I. The next thing I knew it was 8am and I could hear Dave and the kids in the kitchen doing breakfast. I came out to discover that Dave wasn't making french toast the right way (he doesn't eat most breakfast foods so he has no clue how to cook them- especially anything involving eggs), and was nearly burning the pan in the process. So I took over and we got the boys fed. At 8:30am I had to start getting the boys and myself ready and packing the bags so by 9am we could be on the road to Oviedo for our friends Casey and Jodi's son Clay's 2nd birthday party. With a quick stop at Target first, where just Holder and I went in and Dave drove a sleeping Miller around in the car, we arrived at the party a little after 10am. We stayed until about 12:30pm and had a good time playing in the water slides and visiting with college friends. Miller slept again on the way home and we went through the Chic Fil A drive through to get some lunch. Holder ate in the car (he's very good at that and seems so big to me when he does it).

When we got home we played on the porch for a bit and Holder went down for a nap around 1:45. Miller's nap schedule was all messed up so even though he nursed he refused to go back down for a nap so we read him books and let him play until about 3:30 or so when he fell back asleep. While the kids were both asleep Dave asked me if I wanted to go see a movie that night, so kind of on the spur of the moment we decided to try and do that. I think the last movie I have seen in the theatre was Black Swan in December 2010! I don't get out much ;) I called my mom to ask if she would watch the boys and she said yes, even though she planned to get her hair cut and run other errands. I am very grateful for her and her generosity to us. She is always willing to keep my kids so that Dave and I can spend time together. Love her so much.

Dave started feeding Miller dinner around 5:30pm. My mom arrived at 5:45pm and we got everything settled for the boys, she took over feeding them and by the time we left a little after 6pm the boys were getting into the bath. My mom said Holder went to bed a little after 8pm and Miller cashed his 5 ounce bottle (he could have drank more I'm sure, but I had to pump 4 times to get those 5 ounces!), and went to bed around 7:30 or so. Dave and I went to Lake Mary and ate at Dexter's and then went to see Horrible Bosses. I thought it was okay, but I think Dave thought it was pretty funny. Yes, it was rated R and yes, there was cursing. Judge away! We got home about 10:30pm or so and my mom left around 11pm. We were in bed at 11:30pm- I have not gone to bed before 11:30pm this entire week I have been posting about. That is really not normal for me, but maybe it is and I just don't realize it??!? Anyway, that was our Saturday!

The value of a family meal

2011-07-16T09:59:00.002-04:00

Holder has really been showing me the value in eating dinner as a family around the table. As you've read about before, this is something new for us. Dave and I have always eaten in front of the TV and, since having kids, eaten dinner after their bedtime. A few months ago we started eating together as a family more. I think it was a combination of eating a lot of dinners at my parents' house over the summer, Dave taking a month off of traveling for work, and also the fact that once Miller started moving and eating table food, I am even more tired at the end of the day than I used to be. I just don't have it in me to be eating dinner at 8:30pm.

Anyway, family dinners are something we always wanted to do but just were never sure how to schedule it. I think we were also a bit concerned about giving up our nice relaxing dinner in favor of the chaos of eating with kids. But the benefits have already outweighed the stress. Holder, being the vocal of the two boys just because of his age, has really been showing us these benefits. He is so happy at family dinners and just looks at everyone around the table with a huge smile on his face. He talks a lot about the different relationships we have ("two brothers," "we're a family"). Seeing the sheer joy on his face from having everyone eating together is priceless and worth any amount of chaos.

These are some things Holder has said about family dinners:

"We're all eating together and having a fine day."

"We're all happy." (Dinner with Glenns)

I am so glad that our family has taken this step and begun to eat together on a regular basis. The benefits will be reaped for years, I believe.